


Under Control

by babytobin_horse



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-03-28 20:36:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 40,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3868954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babytobin_horse/pseuds/babytobin_horse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life has a funny way of playing out and when Tobin comes face to face with an old flame, life throws her a curve ball; UCLA forward Alex Morgan. A friendly favor leads to a budding friendship neither girl expects, especially while Tobin's old flame is still around. With everything else going on in the UCLA midfielder's life, Tobin's never wanted her life to be under control like she does now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> The monster collab from me and eyeslikehoneymaple ;)

Poking at her bruise, Alex winces at the pain. Sure they’re playing Stanford later in the week, but why the team went Rambo at practice was beyond her. She gives her bruised shins one last look before changing.

“Guys is it just me or has Tobin been kinda weird lately?”

Alex is spraying on perfume when Kelley asks but doesn’t think much of it.

“Isn’t she always though?” Sydney laughs, along with the rest of the girls that lagged behind after practice. Even Alex laughs, rolling her eyes at the comment.

It’s been over a year since Alex became a UCLA Bruin and she still hasn’t gotten to know Tobin. The girl was just too much for her. She’s always so quiet. Not like shy quiet but if she isn’t goofing around with Lauren or Amy then she’s just there, sitting with a smile on her face and watching. Alex wouldn’t call it creepy, she doesn’t know what to call it and maybe that’s why she just never found any reason to talk to Tobin off the pitch. The girl was weird and that was enough for Alex.

“Hey just leave her be.” Heather says, closing her locker. “She’s just a little off cause we’re playing her ex’s team on Friday.”

“Tobin has an ex?” The look on Pinoe’s face lets Alex know that she would’ve never guessed.

Alex watches as Syd and Kelley look at Heather to make sure she wasn’t joking while Pinoe and Ash still aren’t over the fact that Tobin’s dated someone before. The forward wonders if it’s really _that_ surprising.

“Guys.” Heather gives them a pointed look. “Just make sure you idiots are at the cafe in 45, alright? If not Lauren will have all your asses.”

After Heather leaves the chit chat about Tobin continues. Alex realizes that aside from the obvious, they don’t know anything about Tobin. It was the girl’s third year on the team, how do her teammates not know her?

“Tobs just doesn’t really.. I don’t know. Tobs is just Tobs.” Pinoe shrugs, looking over at Ashlyn for backup.

“Yeah, I mean, Tobin doesn’t say much but I know she’s got my back if I needed her.” The blonde shrugs.

The topic changes to makeup and what looks better with gold and a “bitchin’ outfit” as Syd put it. Alex’s stomach starts grumbling and she forgets all about Tobin and wonders if she’ll be able to wait for her teammates before she eats her own arm.

She decides to wait after she finds a small pack of crackers in her locker, figuring that old crackers can’t kill her. Closing her locker, she heads for the exit with Kelley right on her heels.

“Who would’ve thought Tobin out of all people would have an ex?” Kelley asks as the two leave the locker room.

Alex shrugs at the comment. “I mean, we’re all in college so I don’t see why not, Kel.”

Kelley nods in agreement and after a few minutes of mindless conversation they part ways.

“I’ve gotta go grab some homework me and Syd are going to work on. I’ll just meet you there later.” Kelley says, running off to their dorms.

The crackers were stale and left Alex hungrier than earlier. Checking the time Alex realizes she’s got twenty minutes left before the team is supposed to meet up. Glancing over at the cafe across the quad, Alex figures she has nothing to lose if she’s early. Plus, sitting in air conditioning doesn’t sound like a bad idea either. She just finished showering and she’s already sweating.

Walking into the cafe, Alex is immediately hit with a burst of cool air. She looks around the room to see if she can find an empty table for the entire team but she quickly realizes that’s not gonna happen.

“You’re here early.”

Alex looks at a table she hadn’t noticed earlier and sees Tobin. Alex wonders how long the midfielder’s been there as she walks over to her.

“Yeah well, I didn’t have anything to do for twenty minutes so I figured why not.” She shrugs, ignoring the way her stomach grumbles.

“Ah, okay.” Tobin nods, smirking at the sound of Alex’s stomach. “It’s not cause you’re hungry or anything right?”

“Nah.” Alex laughs. “What about you?”

“Same. I figured I’d get away from Lauren and Amy before they gang up on me and make me do an essay or something. Again.” Tobin adds in that last part as an after thought.

If Alex knew one thing about Tobin, it was that the girl never did her work.

Alex tries to think of something for them to talk about but when she looks over at Tobin she sees the girl’s mind is somewhere else. _Is this what Kelley meant by her acting weird? She’s always like this._ Alex brushes the thought off and pulls out her phone, wondering if anyone posted something new on Instagram.

They’d settled into a weird silence and even though it’s not awkward it’s not comfortable either.

It’s just enough silence to have Alex begging for someone to walk through the doors.

A few minutes later a group of girls come in but to Alex’s disappointment, none of them were any of her teammates. They were, however, soccer players.

 _The Stanford girls,_  Alex notes, glancing over at Tobin who hasn’t really moved since she’d started spacing out. She wonders if Tobin’s ex is there but her curiosity doesn’t last long after Sydney texts her.

**Syd: Lex, shorts or yoga pants??**

Alex mutters a bluestreak, telling Sydney to “hurry the fuck up” and that “no one cares” when someone startles her.

“Tobin?!”

Looking up from her phone, Alex looks at Tobin. The girl’s smiling but Alex can’t help but feel like something’s off. She turns her head to see a tanned girl walking up to them with an expectant smile.

 _Is she--_ Alex looks over at Tobin and then back at the girl coming their way, and that’s all she needs to know. It’s her.

“Christen.” Tobin breathes as she gets up to welcome the hug Christen offers.

The forward stays in her seat, the phone in her hands long forgotten, even after it vibrates with a new message. She blinks, trying to process what’s happening in front of her. There are thoughts flying in and out of her mind as she watches the tanned girl smile as Tobin greets her. It’s a miracle that Alex’s jaw doesn’t go slack as she witnesses what’s happening.

First of all, Tobin has a very good looking ex-girlfriend. Her skin is perfectly tanned despite her soccer habits; she wears a slim cut Stanford soccer t-shirt that shows just how skinny and fit she is. From what Alex can see, Christen’s eyes are an interesting blend of brown and can possibly be considered hazel when hit by the right light. She’s lanky, but somehow she works it and her legs could possibly go on for days. Damn, the midfielder really knew how to pick them.

And it’s not like Tobin’s ugly. She has distinct features that make her uniquely pretty. It’s not something Alex can explain very easily. You’d just have to see Tobin to understand. Not that Alex spends time looking at Tobin in any way like that in particular. She just spends a lot of time with Tobin because of soccer, and in soccer you kind of have to look at your teammates.

“It’s so good to see you!” Christen exclaims, pulling back to inspect Tobin for a moment.

Alex sits quietly in her seat, watching the exchange. She’s curious; it’s a part of Tobin’s life that not many people probably know about. She feels almost lucky to be witnessing it all. It’s all over Tobin’s face that too many emotions are coming at her at once. Alex wonders if she should intervene, but then Tobin speaks up.

“You too,” she manages, a small smile on her lips.

Her posture is a bit more tense than Alex is used to seeing it. She only ever sees it tense when she’s frustrated on the field or in the locker room. Outside of those situations, the older girl is usually calm and typically just goes with the flow. This is new for Alex, and so she’s even more interested than she was a few moments ago.

“Press, are you going to order?” a voice calls through the cafe.

The three of them turn around to find one of the other Stanford players looking at the tanned girl expectantly.

Christen nods as she answers back, “Get me a sandwich or something! I’ll be with you guys in a second.”

“Okay!”

Christen’s eyes trail down Tobin momentarily before meeting the midfielder’s eyes once again. Something about the gesture bothers Alex. “It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?” Her hands are on Tobin’s arms, almost trapping the girl.

Tobin nods, still unsure of what was going on. She didn’t expect to be blind-sided like this. She didn’t expect to see Christen until Friday night when they hashed it out on the field. Sure, she’d seen their opponents lingering around campus before, but they usually stayed in groups and didn’t talk to Tobin or her other teammates.

“A few months,” Tobin offhandedly replies, and then immediately wants to smack herself for doing so.

Alex watches their exchange carefully, her phone now sitting on the table unattended. Something about Tobin’s tone makes it clear to Alex that it’s been more than “a few months.” The longer Christen hangs around, the more Alex doesn’t like her. There’s something under her sweet image that makes the forward tick. It’s the way she makes Tobin so uneasy, and how quickly she put the midfielder into a frenzy. She’s never seen anyone do that to Tobin, so Alex is guessing if Christen can, then something must’ve gone terribly wrong between the two of them.

Tobin’s comment keeps Christen quiet for a moment. She looks down, her hands dropping from Tobin’s arms as if she’d just burned herself on a stove. “I know,” she replies, biting her bottom lip. She pauses for a moment before returning her gaze on Tobin. “but he’s out of my life now. I don’t -- let’s not talk about him. It’s nothing now, right?”

Tobin’s eyes flicker to Alex for a moment. They’re teammates and maybe sure, they’re friends (if you really stretch the term “friends”), but Tobin’s personal life is being exposed in front of Alex and neither of them really know what to do with that. Alex’s eyes widen slightly and she wonders exactly what happened between the two girls in front of her.

“I don’t know Christen,” Tobin replies with a slightly quivering voice. “You tell me.”

The midfielder’s jaw is set and it’s evident she’s trying to hold off the overwhelming emotions boiling up inside of her. She wants to run; everything in her system tells her to take off while she can. She prays to God she has the strength to somehow get out of the conversation because it could go downhill very quickly and she doesn’t want that.

Christen, on the other hand, looks crestfallen at Tobin’s response. It’s as if she expected Tobin to fall back into her arms again without a doubt. She looks at Tobin, eyes big with her lips turned down. She almost looks genuinely upset. Her hands slide down to Tobin’s, almost holding them in her own.

Alex can tell Tobin doesn’t want them there. The forward herself doesn’t like seeing those hands there. Christen’s pushing all the buttons she can to get what she wants, it’s obvious.

“I know you miss me Tobs.”

It’s so quiet Alex almost misses it, but she hears it anyway. She can tell by the way the look in Tobin’s eyes flickers for a moment that her resolve is breaking. Tobin’s still putting up the fight, but it’s not working very well. Her teammate’s had enough and Alex has too. This girl was way out of line.

“Babe,” Alex says suddenly before even really thinking. “Who’s your friend?”

The two girls turn to face Alex, almost forgetting that they had a third party in their area. Tobin’s face held a mixture of confusion and relief, trying to understand what Alex was saying. Christen, on the other hand, dropped her hands away from Tobin’s and quirked an eyebrow, taking a good look at Alex.

“I could ask you the same question,” Christen shoots back almost snarkily.

The UCLA forward stands from her seat sliding her arm in the space between Tobin’s side and her tanned arm, offering a small squeeze. “I’m Alex, Tobin’s girlfriend.” She gives the sweetest smile she can muster and offers a hand.

Both of Christen’s eyebrows shoot up, surprised at the statement. She takes the hand anyway, flashing back a smile, but her face gives off that she wasn’t too happy; so does the way she shakes Alex’s hand tightly. “Oh, I didn’t know you had a girlfriend Tobin.”

Alex looks at Tobin, praying the girl is in the right mindset to pull this off. The initial baffled expression she held at first is hardly visible as she looks from Christen to Alex. “Uh yeah.”

 _Oh my god Tobin,_ the younger girl scolds in her head. She has to stop herself from rolling her eyes as she faces Christen once again. “She’s so cute,” she laughs, trying to play it off. Her hand slide down to Tobin’s, intertwining their fingers. “So, I never got that introduction,” she reminds Christen cheekily, deciding to rest her head on Tobin’s shoulder.

The Stanford player’s jaw sets as she looks between Tobin and Alex, as if trying to gauge the authenticity of the situation. “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your _girlfriend_ , Tobs?”

Keeping up with her part, Alex slightly narrows her eyes at Christen, squeezing Tobin’s hand gently as if a reminder that she was supposed to say something.

“Oh,” Tobin nods, looking at Alex for a moment before returning her gaze to the girl in front of them. “Yeah, this is Alex, my girlfriend. She’s a sophomore on the team.”

“Yo Christen, we gotta roll!”

Three heads turn to see that the cluster for Stanford girls Christen had arrived with are now approaching with their orders in their hands. The one who called for Christen hands her a to-go bag with presumably her order. The tanned girl takes it and then brings her attention back to the two Bruins in front of her.

“Well, I’ll see you Friday?” Christen asks, question directly only at Tobin. Her long lashes flutter with a slight smile on her face.

“Of course,” Tobin says, looking at Alex for a moment before looking at Christen with a smile. “ _We’ll_ see you on the field.”

“Nice meeting you,” Alex smirks, sliding her arm around Tobin’s waist.

Christen narrows her eyes at the forward. “Yeah, you too.” She flashes one more look at Tobin before following her teammates out of the cafe.

“Uh, sorry.” Alex awkwardly slides her hand off Tobin, taking a step back.

The forward wants nothing more than to move on from what happened. She was just doing a teammate a favor. That’s it. Nothing less, nothing more.

“No, don’t sweat it.” Tobin mumbles out. The brunette looks just as confused as Alex thinks she is and that’s when Alex knows they can’t just brush this off.

“Look, I figured Christen was bothering you and you’re my friend.” Alex shrugs. “I got your back.”

Alex’s not really sure where that came from but she isn’t lying. She figures if she’s able to pretend to be someone’s girlfriend, that automatically makes them friends. Plus, she has this uncanny feeling that Tobin would’ve stepped in if she ever needed her help. She tells herself it’s good karma.

Tobin on the other hand, doesn’t know what to make of everything. Between finding out that she was going to see Christen to actually seeing her to Alex pretending to be her girlfriend and being all touchy, it was all too much.

“I could’ve handled it.” Tobin stammers out. It’s such a weak defense that Tobin just laughs at herself which is quickly followed by Alex’s own laughter.

“You totally would’ve crashed and burned.” The forward laughs, plopping down onto her chair.

“Well now we’ll never know, now will we?”

Alex looks at Tobin with a smile wondering where this came from. Quiet Tobin is actually making jokes with her without Lauren and Amy around. Truly, she feels like she’s the dude who took the first step on the moon, it’s one huge step.

“Thank you though.” Tobin smiles, taking her seat once again. Her eyes are soft and her smile is so modest that Alex knows she was right to step in when she did. The thought makes her swell with pride. “For having my back.”

There’s this warmth spreading through Tobin’s chest but she ignores it. Just like how she ignored the burning sensation of Alex’s hand on her hip. Alex is one of the girls on the team Tobin never talked to. It’s not because they don’t like one another, Tobin just never knew what to say to her. She’s all about makeup and Thirsty Thursdays, and Tobin just figured Alex would get bored she ever tried to talk to her, so she didn’t.

“Figured you’d have mine if ever.” Alex shrugs with an easy smile.

Tobin smiles back, pleased to know that she has a real friend in Alex. The two stare at one another for a few moments before they hear a loud muffled sound. They both turn to look out the door to see their teammates not too far out.

“Hey, Alex?” Tobin’s voice sounds panicked and it pulls Alex’s attention immediately, “Can we keep this between us?” There’s a pleading look in Tobin’s eyes and Alex knows if no one knew about Christen before, they shouldn’t know about her now.

“Yeah.” Alex smiles at the relief washing over Tobin’s face.

Before either of them know it, their teammates burst through the Cafe’s doors.

“Tobin?” Lauren calls out with a questioning look.

Lauren and a few girls walk up to the unlikely pair, while some go up to place their orders.

“You guys are here early.”

Alex looks at Tobin before moving her eyes back to Lauren. It’s not like Tobin and Alex can’t hang out, it’s just that they don’t hang out and that fact alone justifies the suspicious looks they’re getting from Lauren and Amy.

“Yeah and you guys are late. Thanks for stating the obvious, Lauren.” Alex laughs and so does Tobin when Lauren gives her a little shove. The laughing makes Alex realize just how hungry she is, causing her to excuse herself from the girls to order something. “Guys, I’m gonna go get something to eat before I eat my arm off.”

She’s almost out of earshot when she hears Amy ask, “I never knew you and Alex were pretty close.”

Alex knows they’re just being curious and they have every right to be. Everyone knows Tobin and Alex aren’t exactly besties but they’re teammates, why was it so surprising to see them together? Alex does her best to brush it off but she can’t help the annoyance she feels when she hears Amy’s question.

“Yeah, we’re cool” is all Tobin says. Alex listens to the laughter in Tobin’s voice and can’t help but smile. Maybe Tobin isn’t as far off than she thought. She looks over her shoulder at the older girl and calls out to her.

“You talkin’ shit, Heath?”

“Weren’t you about to eat your arm off?”

Some of their teammates exchange curious looks because of the exchange but Alex doesn’t mind and by the looks of it neither does Tobin. But she does realize Tobin was right and if she doesn’t order now she might collapse.

 

-

 

The next day that follows actually feels like death to Alex. It’s their last true practice before Friday night, and the girls feel like they’re competing for the Olympics or something thanks to everything their coach was put them through. By the end, they’ve somehow accumulated a total for ten extra sprints before being able to stretch out and call it a day. Alex’s legs ache as she pushes on, still faster than most her teammates.

 _Last one,_ she thinks tiredly, forcing her legs to keep moving despite the burn she could clearly feel. The forward’s arms can’t pump any harder, but as soon as she reaches the end line, her legs completely give out. She collapses onto the grass beneath her, arms splayed out and her chest rising and falling while her breathing evens. Her teammates all come in moments later; she can hear their cleats hitting the grass. Some footsteps drag towards the sideline, others follow Alex’s example and collapse. The forward needs water desperately, but she’s pretty sure she can’t get any of her limbs to move. Her eyes close and she considers staying on the field forever, but moments later she feels water trickling onto her arm. Alex lets out a tired moan before opening her eyes into a squint.

“You tired or something?”

Alex finds herself pleasantly surprised that it’s Tobin hovering over her, lightly squeezing her water bottle onto the girl. Somehow she manages to create a shield from the sun with her hand. “You’re not?” she replies.

There’s a smile that forms on Tobin’s face that can’t help but make Alex smile too. She’s noticed that over the past year. When that big, megawatt grin finds Tobin’s lips, everyone can’t help but smile back. Alex likes that about her; she likes that a lot actually.

“Maybe just a little,” the midfielder cheekily replies, taking a gulp of water before deciding to sit next to Alex on the grass. “Come, sit up and drink.”

She offers her hand which Alex gladly takes, using whatever strength she has left to pull herself up with Tobin’s help. The forward takes the bottle out of her hand eagerly, squeezing some into her mouth. _Refreshing._

“I think I need a long nap,” Alex admits once she’s evened out her breathing.

Tobin chuckles, strands of her hair falling out of her ponytail as they always do. “I could go for one too.”

“Can we take one right now? On this grass? It’s comfortable,” the younger one jokes.

The midfielder laughs loudly at her suggestion, eyes crinkling at the corners. Within the past twenty-four hours she’s become quite fond of Alex. She’s learned that the girl’s not only a good friend, but she’s also funny and witty. At lunch yesterday with their team, they’d had their fair share of conversation, deciding to remain sitting next to each other while their teammates all made their way over. It’s easy with Alex; they get along much better than Tobin could have expected.

“As great as that offer sounds,” she started, swiping her bottle back from the forward. “We smell pretty bad, so I think a shower is in order for both of us.” Alex’s raspy laugh is melodic to her ears, and the midfielder chooses to ignore the feeling in the pit of her stomach that rises at the sound. “but if you’re down, we can nap for a few hours and then grab something to eat when we’re both up.”

Alex’s lips widen into a smile as she nods. “Sounds like a plan.”

Tobin returns her smile, trying to keep it at a minimum because she knows how much of an idiot she’ll look if her smile gets any bigger. “Sweet. Text me when you wake up?” she asks, standing before offering her hand once again to help the girl up.

The forward’s about to ask how Tobin even has her number or how she has Tobin’s, but then she remembers. They’re teammates. They have everyone’s number on the team. Duh. Alex shakes off her stupid train of thought before taking Tobin’s hand and feeling the burn once again as she stood. “Definitely.”

It’s then that Amy walks by, tugging playfully at Tobin’s ponytail. The midfielder turns and laughs, calling after her friend to wait up. “See ya!” she says to Alex before jogging over to catch up with the blonde.

“I didn’t know you two were friends.”

Alex turns around to see Kelley looking at her strangely, her brows raised and furrowed together. The defender walks over to her, still very confused on what she just witnessed.

“Yeah,” the taller of the two shrugs, watching Tobin as she walks off with Amy. “She’s cool.”

 

-

“There’s no way!” Alex exclaims, trying to catch her breath as she clutches at her stomach from all the laughing she’s done in the past hour.

Tobin looks at her with a slightly smug look and winks. “Swear. Ask Lauren.”

The two are sitting in a booth at Panda Express on campus, sharing stories and laughing over their food. Alex had definitely taken the longer nap, not waking up until five in the afternoon before insisting that she was “feeling” Panda Express as soon as she woke up. They’d met up an hour ago and had only half eaten their food, too caught up in talking to each other.

“Bullshit!” Alex yells through her laughter. Her cheeks ache from how hard she’s been laughing and the looks they’re getting from the other customers makes her laugh even more. God they’re so obnoxious.

Tobin sobers enough to give Alex a pointed look.

“You don’t believe me?” The older girl does her best to sound offended but it’s contradicted by her laughter. She doesn’t even wait for Alex to answer before she’s scrolling through her phone. Tobin’s too occupied looking for Lauren’s contact that she doesn’t notice Alex lunging forward for her phone till it’s snatched out of her hand.

“Stop being a brat!” Tobin laughs, reaching over the table to try and get her phone back.

“What’s in here that’s got you so worried, huh?” Alex smirks at Tobin with a suggestive look in her eyes and it just makes the midfielder roll her eyes.

Giving up, Tobin sits back in the booth and glares at Alex with a pout. “The worst thing you’ll find in there is _your_ number.”

Tobin never expected things to be this easy with Alex. Yeah they’re teammates but they just click. It’s a shame that they’d only recently started to get to know one another but Tobin decides that it’s better late than never.

“You literally have nothing in this thing aside from contacts.” Alex says, scrolling through Tobin’s phone. Aside from a few songs and the occasional picture, there’s nothing in it. She looks up from the device and stares at Tobin like she’s a freak.

“That’s kinda what a phone is for, right?” Tobin asks with the sass that Alex had quickly accepted.

“Shut up.”

The two girls are laughing again but it’s much more reserved than before. Alex likes this. She likes the carefree bubble they’d found themselves in. She wonders why she hadn’t just talked to Tobin before.

All too quickly, their bubble bursts with a single text.

**Christen P: Hey, so my practice ended pretty early. Do you wanna meet up? Just you and me, like old times?**

Alex accidentally reads the text message when the banner flashes across Tobin’s screen. Shit. What was she supposed to do? Pretend like she didn’t see it even though the read receipt already checked the message as read? But she can’t lie to Tobin, that’d be beyond wrong. Quickly, she runs through the pros and cons of showing Tobin before she caves and gives it back with the message still on the screen.

“She texted you right when I touched the screen.” Her voice is riddled in guilt and she prays Tobin can hear it. “I didn’t mean to read it.”

Sitting on her hands, Alex stares at the table as Tobin glances at the message.

“It’s no biggie.” She smiles at the blue eyed girl.

Alex nods in relief at the way Tobin’s smile doesn’t falter. Silently, Alex hopes Tobin doesn’t go. This Christen girl, whoever she was, was definitely bad news for Tobin and Alex doesn’t want to think of what would happen if the two were together alone. The thought alone makes knots in her stomach.

“Are you gonna, you know?” Alex gestures to the message with a glance. It doesn’t take Tobin long to understand what Alex is asking. So she shrugs, the conflict evident on her face.

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

Truly, the thought of being alone with Christen makes Tobin’s heart race in all the wrong ways. Christen knows how to unravel her and Tobin has spent too many months putting herself back together to be broken down again. It’s not like she hates Christen, no matter what Tobin doesn’t think she can. She just knows it’s better for her to not get twisted up in her loving words and puppy dog eyes.

Still, there’s this small part of her that wants to go, that wants to hear what she has to say and to also say what Tobin’s been harboring for a while now. It could be the closure Tobin never knew she needed.

Alex sees the cogs turning behind Tobin’s eyes and it twists her gut. She doesn’t want Tobin anywhere near that girl if she’s not there. She wants to tell her that she shouldn’t go and that it was a bad idea but Alex stops herself. She reminds herself that she and Tobin just became friends and that friends have boundaries. And Alex desperately doesn’t want to ruin something this good.

“Well if you do go,” Alex starts, warily eyeing Tobin as she continues. “I’m always here for back up just in case.”

The gesture pulls another smile out of Tobin and Alex can’t help but reciprocate. They don’t say much after that, letting a silence settle between them. It’s different from the first time. This silence is content and simple compared to the unsettling one they’d found themselves in the day before. Oh, the difference a day can make.

Quickly, the two realize that the store is almost empty. Tobin glances at her phone again and sees that it’s already seven. She assumes Alex had done this same thing because the girl has a conflicted look on her face.

“Sup?”

Alex sighs, “I gotta start my homework.” There’s a pout present on her lips and it has Tobin staring longer than any friend should.

It isn’t too long before the two leave and go their separate ways, Alex to her dorm and Tobin to the library.

“You sure you don’t want me to go with you?” Tobin asks, eyeing the darkening sky before looking back at Alex with a worried expression. “It’s pretty late.”

Alex rolls her eyes and pushes Tobin in the direction the girl needs to go. “I’ll be fine.” She reassures. “And if not, I can always blame you.”

Tobin scoffs, rolling her eyes at the girl before finally leaving. She ignores the longing she has to feel the burn on her skin from Alex’s touch. It would be a lie if Tobin says she didn’t want to immediately ask the girl to come with her tomorrow. Alex was her teammate and her friend, nothing more. She’s just doing her a favor by pretending to be her girlfriend around Christen.

**  
**  


-

Tobin’s early; she’s early because she’s been awake for so long and decided there was nothing else to do. The anxiety and nerves are the exact reasons she couldn’t find sleep easily last night. Up until two days ago, she hasn’t even talked to Christen. Now she’s meeting with her alone. Her fingers drum against the table inside Relaxation, the tea and boba joint on campus that she figured Christen would like. It was weird; they haven’t talked in so long, but Tobin still knew her ins and outs. Or at least, some of them. She’s almost tempted to order for Christen, but stops herself right there.

_You can’t go back into old routines. Not with her._

She’s scared of what this means. The midfielder’s still twisted from accidentally running into her ex the other day in the cafe. If it’s even possible, Christen has gotten even more attractive since the last time Tobin saw her. It’s as if God was putting Christen in her path for a reason, but what can possibly be the reason? Closure? A fresh start? Tobin doesn’t know, but she’ll trust in Him that it’s for the better. Whatever this is, it has to be.

It’s not until a few minutes before Christen’s scheduled to show up that Tobin really starts to panic. She can’t do this alone by any means. So she pulls her phone out of her pocket and opens a new message, typing away before she even realizes it.

**Tobin: You busy? I need back up.**

The midfielder hits send before she can back out and delete the whole thing. She doesn’t notice that she’s holding her breath until she sighs in relief at the response.

**Alex: Where are you?**

Just as Tobin sends her reply, she hears footsteps and looks up. She’s forced to suck in a breath because wow, Christen looks good in that tank top and shorts.

“Hey Tobs.”

It comes so easily off her tongue that Tobin isn’t sure how to feel. All she knows is that the Lord is most definitely testing her.

-

Alex knows she shouldn’t be this willing to go help Tobin out. She shouldn’t feel this stupid thing at the pit of her stomach, but she does anyway. She tries to reason with herself that she’s just glad she doesn’t have to finish her stupid Ethics homework anymore. She figures that since she doesn’t like Christen and doesn’t want Tobin around Christen, it’s a benefit to the both of them. The thought of Christen being alone with Tobin makes her jaw set without even meaning to. Suddenly, an idea pops up in her mind and a smirk forms on her face. Well, if she’s going to pretend to be Tobin’s girlfriend in front of her ex, she might as well have fun with it.

-

“Did you order yet?” Christen asks with a perky smile.

Tobin grows uncomfortable as her guilt settles. _I should’ve just got her a drink. It’s just a drink._ “Yeah,” She says simply. “Ordered when I got here.”

The forward looks pleased with the answer and moves to take the seat in front of her but her bottom never meets the cushion.

“I figured you probably changed your order or something.” There isn’t a single shred of confidence in Tobin’s voice and she winces when she realizes it. “So, uh.” The situation is as awkward as Tobin’s ability to use words.

Christen’s got one hand on the table and is still slightly bent over the chair beneath her when Tobin gestures toward the counter.

Tobin clenches her jaw when she sees the look Christen gives her. There’s a grimace on the forward’s face that makes Tobin look away.

“Right.” Christen mutters. She gets up to order her drink, leaving Tobin to her inner turmoil.

She tells herself it’s just a drink and that it wouldn’t mean anything. She questions why she’s making everything more complicated and uncomfortable than it has to be. Amidst the questions and regret, Tobin realizes that her heart is racing.

Taking a glance at the counter, Tobin eyes Christen as she scans the menu against the wall. Suddenly, in war with herself, Tobin realizes it’s not just a drink. She knows Christen and she knows the way the girl thinks and if she had bought her a drink than she would’ve assumed that everything would fall back into place. That’s exactly what Tobin doesn’t want.

“How long have you been here?”

The question startles Tobin out of her thoughts, not realizing that Christen had already sat down.

“I, uh, sorry what?” Tobin laughs, albeit hesitantly, as she rubs the back of her neck.

“I asked how long have you been here, Heath! Geez!”

Tobin can feel her eyebrows furrow as Christen laughs. She feels a smile tug at her lips and it only encourages Christen to reciprocate, but it has nothing to do with Christen.

“Not too long. Don’t sweat it.” Tobin says through a smile.

Here she is, sitting across from a girl she had feelings for months ago, and all she’s thinking of is the way Alex’s eyes narrow at her whenever she says, “Heath.” It’s pretty messed up and Tobin wonders if this would be cheating if she and Christen were together. Probably, she figures, ignoring the bubbly feeling in chest.

“Okay, well,” Christen reaches across the table and rests her hand in front of Tobin, assuming the midfielder was going to take it. For a few seconds Tobin thinks she is too. She stares at the delicate hand for a few seconds before bringing her eyes up to Christen’s. She’s not going to fall for Christen’s games anymore.

The forward pulls her hand back slowly, solidifying the rejected effort. There’s a look of dejection on her face when she meets Tobin’s gaze. “Thanks for agreeing to this, Tobin.” When the midfielder nods, Christen takes it as her cue to continue. “I just wanted to apologize. To say I’m sorry for everything that happened between us.” Tobin watches as Christen turns and looks away with a genuine look of regret on her face.

“I just need to know why.” Tobin’s voice is concerned and it’s enough for Christen to look back at her with a sadness in her eyes. “Because it all happened so quickly and I don’t think I did anything to push you away--”

Christen is quick to interrupt, her eyes wide when she hears what Tobin says. “No Tobin! You didn’t--It was all me! I was the one who messed up, not you. I swear.” Christen adds the last part when she sees the doubtful look in Tobin’s eyes.

“I--I don’t know what to tell you Tobin.” The girl looks so conflicted and it takes Tobin slightly by surprise. Christen was always so composed and sure of herself, but right now she’s so out of her element. Oddly enough, Tobin kind of likes that. The ball is in her court for once and she plans on keeping it here.

“The truth would be nice.” There’s no malice in Tobin’s words but Christen’s shoulders slump none the less.

There’s a lost look in Christen’s eyes and Tobin wonders if this is what it feels like for her to lose. “I’ve been! But you won’t listen!”

Tobin feels her defenses kicking in. She stares at Christen wondering where she got off trying to turn this back around at her. She shakes her head in disbelief and is about to call her out when Christen beats her to it.

“You’re so caught up by your anger that you can’t even hear what I’ve been telling you!” The girl almost raises her voice at Tobin and it leaves her speechless. Tobin’s known Christen for a while and she’s never seen her act like this.

“He meant nothing to me Tobin! Nothing!” Christen sounds so exasperated and desperate for Tobin to believe her that it actually starts working. She can see it by the way Tobin’s features soften. “I had feelings for you. I wanted to be with you, Tobin.”

Tobin sits back into her chair, closing her eyes tight at the pleading look she’s getting from Christen. She can’t lie to herself and say that she’s not thinking of all the time they’d spent together and all the laughs they’d shared, but what happened was too messed up. She put herself out there for Christen and she waited and waited and waited. She made herself look like an idiot in front of everyone just to be betrayed like that. Not cool… But what if she was wrong? What if it was all just one big misunderstanding?

The midfielder is so caught up with her what ifs that she jumps when she feels Christen’s hand touch her forearm. She opens her eyes slowly, looking at Christen with all the caution her walls are screaming at her to use.

Christen’s voice is barely over a whisper but it cracks all the same. “I don’t know why you can’t get that, Tobin.” Her eyes flicker down to Tobin’s lips before meeting the midfielder’s doubtful look once again.

There’s a lump in Tobin’s throat and she’s pretty sure it’s her heart. There’s also a voice inside her head screaming for her to keep her mouth shut and remember why she came here; for closure.

“Did you have feelings for him too?”

Christen hesitates. Her eyes move to the floor as she once again pulls her arm back from Tobin. Funny, the loss of contact used to make Tobin miss it but now she feels nothing.

Tobin stares at Christen, who’s still avoiding her, when the barista calls their names. She’s never seen the girl so ashamed. It actually hurts to see her like this. She realizes in that moment that she doesn’t want the ball anymore. So she does the only thing she knows is right.

Without a word, she gets up and leaves Christen to grab her drink from the pick-up counter. She had real feelings for Christen once, that’s never going to be a lie and maybe Christen really did feel something for her too. That alone, was enough for Tobin. Plus, she didn’t lie to her, entirely, and Tobin appreciated that.

“Here.” The midfielders says with a soft, forgiving smile as she sets Christen’s drink in front of her. She waits for the girl to look up at her before she slides the drink closer, nodding for her to take it.

Christen exchanges looks between the drink and Tobin and all the brown eyed girl does is shrug with the same forgiving smile she wore only seconds ago.

“Tobin.” Christen sighs.

With a simple shake of her head, Tobin dismisses whatever the girl was going to say. It doesn’t matter anymore. What’s done is done and Tobin has her truth and her answers and that’s really all she ever wanted.

“I accept your apology, Chris.” Tobin grins as if nothing even happened. “So stop looking at me like that and drink your stupid vegan tea.”  

Christen stares at her for a few seconds, her face emotionless, before cracking a grin. “Tea can’t be vegan, idiot.” She laughs and so does Tobin. The two slowly fall into a familiar rhythm, clueless to what was happening not too far from Relaxation.

 

_Hell yeah, I’m a badass bitch!_  Alex yells, in her head.

After getting Tobin’s text Alex quickly got up and slipped into her best pair of nike pros, opting for a tank top when she checks just how hot is in Southern California. Tearing her pink prewrap, Alex makes a headband and fixes it till it sits perfectly atop her head. She gives herself a quick once over, patting herself on the back, before she heads out. _Even I would be jealous if my ex was dating me, shit._

She slows her run to a short stop, feeling the beads of sweat racing down every inch of her body. The sun is relentlessly beating down on her but it does nothing to lessen the smirk on her lips. There’s a devilish glint in her eye as she thinks of the reaction she could get from Christen when she swoops in to save the day like the modern day superhero she convinced herself she is. _You mess with one of my friends, you mess with me._ Alex thinks, peeling off her tank top. _And damn do I love some good revenge._ Wrapping it around her palm, Alex takes off again with a new wave of adrenaline fueling her to run the rest of the way.

When she sees Relaxation, the first thing she tries to do is look through the glass walls in search of a familiar face. She’s panting through her smile, adrenaline still pumping through her system when she spots someone. It’s Christen.

The blue eyed striker watches as Christen animatedly talks to Tobin and it makes her wonder if they’re back on good terms. The thought leaves an unsettling feeling in her chest. Tobin’s too good of a person to be played with and Christen can fuck off. Alex feels herself practically snarling at the two, especially when she sees how Tobin’s head flings back in laughter; something she’s only managed to do once or twice.

So caught up in the moment Alex almost forgets about her plan, her “superhero” duty to save Tobin. The shit-eating grin has found its way back onto Alex’s face as she straightens her back. _If she likes playing games, then we’ll play._ She jogs up to the store oozing confidence.

Tobin’s head is flung back by some stupid memory Christen brought up about Gus, this random twitter stalker. She almost chokes on her drink when Christen does an impersonation of what she thinks he would sound like.

“You’ve got, like, the hottest ass I’ve ever seen.” She says in a nasally voice too deep to ever be her own but too high to ever be a guys either. Tobin completely loses it, spurting out some of her drink.

This is the Christen she had feelings for. Carefree, stupid, lame old Christen, not the girl who knew how to get her way with a bat of her lashes. But Tobin realizes that’s just the other side of the coin, isn’t it?

The two are still laughing when Christen starts acting weird.

She’s in the middle of saying something else Gus said when the smile on her lips falls and the crinkle in her eyes flattens. There’s a look on Christen’s face now, almost like a glare fixated on something beyond Tobin. She shoots Christen a curious look before turning around to see what she was looking at.

Tobin sees what Christen was looking at right away. It steals the breath right out of her lungs.


	2. Part Two

“Babe, there you are!” Alex calls out from across the store. She struts her way toward them in all her sweaty, exposed abs glory. Tobin tells herself to stop staring but no amount of mental chastising can get her to look away.

Alex tries to keep her act together but the look on both of their faces is priceless. She almost busted out into a full blown smile when Christen first saw her, the grip on her plastic cup tightening more than Alex thought the cup could handle. She’s swelling with so much pride that Alex wonders if she can count this as one of her greatest achievements. But then Tobin turns around and suddenly Alex can feel herself flush, more than she already is.

Tobin’s jaw go slack. Her eyes leaves Alex feeling hotter than she already was. Tobin wasn’t being subtle about her looking and Alex loves it. She’s practically feeding off it, using it to give her an extra push to do what she does next.

Putting a little swing in her hips, Alex struts her way over to Tobin and a seething Christen. The look on both of their faces has Alex biting her lip to keep from ruining everything. She finds a spot on Tobin’s lap, wrapping her arms around her neck with a peck on the older girl’s cheek.

When Alex pulls back, Tobin sees this look in her eyes and she knows the girl is enjoying this way too much. _Alex is a friend. A friend who is super dedicated to helping me out. A friend who’s just really good at acting. And has an amazing body._

“I barely understood what you said earlier! If you were going to meet up with someone you could’ve just left a note, Tob.” The nickname rolls off her tongue so easily Tobin almost asks her to say it again.

Never once has Tobin felt this overwhelmed in her life but there’s an attractive woman in her lap pouting at her and she swears she never asked for this.

“I--what are you--” Tobin isn’t stupid but Alex is in her lap without a shirt on and the thought alone leaves her scrambling to figure out where to put her hands, fumbling with them until Alex steps in.

Grabbing Tobin’s hand, Alex completely ignores Christen’s presence and starts playing with the rings on her “girlfriend’s” hand. “I went on a run.” Alex shrugs like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. She laces their fingers together and looks expectantly at Tobin, waiting for the girl to say something so that Christen wouldn’t get suspicious.

Tobin does do something after a few seconds of staring, it’s just nothing Alex really expects. The older girl’s eyes flicker down to her lips and stay there for a few moments too long for Alex to ignore it. It doesn’t help that the midfielder licks her lips before looking back at Alex, a dazed look in her eyes. _What the fuck was that?_ Alex can feel her heart racing, thumping against her neck. Taking a step back from the plan, Alex becomes all too aware of what she’s doing. She’s about to fall out of character until Christen speaks up, finally.

“I’m going to go.” The Stanford forward says abruptly. She gets out of her chair so fast that it practically tips over before she catches it.

Tobin’s too busy struggling to get a word out that Alex happily speaks up. “Hey! You’re the girl from the other day!” Alex says, all too pleased with herself. She points at Christen and looks between the other two girls for confirmation when she asks, “Christy, right?”

“Christen.” The girl spits out, correcting Alex with a nasty glare.

Alex on the other hand, laughs as she slips out a “Whoops!” This is a new level of bitchy for Alex but there’s just something about this girl that made her skin crawl. She just thinks of how Christen could so easily hurt Tobin to cause the girl to need back up that it just gives her every bit of motivation she needs to keep up this front.

Putting on a sweet smile, Alex shrugs, “I was close though.”

“Not close enough.” Christen says with a chuckle, mimicking the smile Alex has on.

Tobin’s eyes are wide as they jump back and forth from Alex and Christen. She swears she can see sparks between the two as they stare one another down.

“Ba--be, babe!” Tobin stammers out, getting Alex and Christen’s attention on her in less than a heartbeat. “You should put your shirt back on, it’s pretty cold in here.” She’s fumbling to get her hand out of Alex’s grip. “I don’t want you getting sick since you’re all,” Letting her eyes run over Alex’s body one last time, Tobin shakes her head and grabs the shirt from Alex’s hand. “sweaty.”

The midfielder holds her breath and quickly puts her hands on Alex’s hips, guiding her off her lap. If looks could kill, Tobin would be screwed with the way Alex is looking at her. She’s glaring the life out of her and Tobin only manages to clench her jaw and get up from the seat too, turning her attention to Christen.

“We’re, uh, we’re good right?”

Christen’s face significantly softens when she moves attention away from Alex. But there’s a shift in the air and Tobin knows it when she sees that familiar stomach knotting look in Christen’s eyes. Sure enough, the girl runs her hands down Tobin’s arms and holds the girls wrists.

“We’re perfect, Toby.” Christen says just before pulling Tobin to her, wrapping her arms around the girl’s neck.

Tobin barely even hugs back, all too aware of the eyes burning holes into her back. She pats Christen on the back and tries to pull away, but apparently they hadn’t hugged long enough because Christen doesn’t let go.

When Christen finally does let go she doesn’t pay Alex any attention. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” The expectant look is back in her eyes and Tobin takes a subtle step back, relaxing when she feels a hand slide into hers. She takes a quick glance back and meeting those familiar pair of blue eyes is enough for her to remember why she even asked Alex to come. She asked for backup and Alex came. Tobin’s never felt more at ease with anyone than right then with Alex’s hand in hers.

Turning back to Christen, Tobin meets her sweet gaze and intertwines her fingers with Alex’s, ignoring the butterflies in her stomach.

“ _We’ll_ see you tomorrow.”

Tobin can’t read Christen’s expression aside from the obvious look of distaste she gives Alex before leaving. When the door closes behind the Stanford player Tobin lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, with it a weight off her shoulders.

She didn’t have much time to revel in it, not when she remembers Alex is still right next to her. Hesitantly, Tobin turns to the girl.

“We’re _perfect_ , Toby.” Alex mocks Christen, pulling her hand out of Tobin’s. She rolls her eyes and pulls her tank top over her head, muttering to herself about how fake Christen is. Of course it’d be a tank top. Tobin thinks, blatantly staring at Alex’s arms. “Perfect my ass, I swea--”

“You good?” Tobin asks, her eyes a little wide when she realizes Alex was talking to herself.

“Your ex is a real piece of work, Tobin.” Alex spits, pushing past the girl and out of the store.

Alex was doing so well until Christen remembered how to play the game. Alex felt her chest tighten when she watched how the Stanford girl put her arms around Tobin. Not to mention the idiot herself who moved her off her lap. _Who the fuck would move their hotass girlfriend like me off of them?_

Stepping outside, Alex realizes the sun hasn’t let up a single bit. It’s still hot as fuck and she can feel herself wearing down as it beats down on her. She needs to cool off.

“Hey, Lex wait up!” Tobin calls out, catching up to her. _So much for cooling off._ “What’s wrong?”

Too tired to beat around the bush, Alex just says it. “How could you be okay with her after everything she did to you?” There’s a slight look of betrayal on Alex’s face and Tobin doesn’t get it.

“I mean things happened but that was a long time ago.” Tobin explains, trying to figure out the look on Alex’s face. “I’m ready to move on.”

“But just like that?!” Alex exclaims through her frustration. “Tobin she hurt you! You can’t just let people stomp all over you!” She shaking her head at Tobin, more upset than she really should be.

Tobin knows Alex cares. It means a lot to her that Alex, someone she just started getting to know, can care so much about her. But Alex doesn’t even know what happened.

Scoffing, Tobin stands up for herself. “Who said I am? Huh, Alex?” She’s not trying to start a fight with the striker, but Tobin just wants her to calm down. “I can’t just hold a grudge against everyone who hurt me, do you know how exhausting that is?”

“Exhausting?” Alex laughs, her anger boiling over. “Try being your girlfriend. I ran from my dorm to get here!”

“Yeah ‘cause you’re insane! And smelly.” Tobin says, wrinkling her nose at Alex.

Alex gapes, shoving Tobin’s shoulder with a scoff. “Jerk! To think I did all this for you!”

The comment makes Tobin laugh, a smile plastered on her face. Tobin likes Alex, she may not know the girl too well but she likes how she knows she has a real friend in her.

“C’mon, I’ll walk you to your dorm.” Tobin says, nodding over her shoulder.

Alex nods, lifting up her tank top to wipe the remaining sweat off her forehead. She misses the way Tobin’s eyes blatantly stare at her abs but when she drops her tank she can see a slight blush on Tobin’s cheeks. It’s enough for Alex to connect the pieces and hide her smile.

They begin the walk towards her dorm, falling in to a comfortable silence as the sun continues to beat down on them. Alex chews the bottom of her lip, mulling over her thoughts and whether she should say them out loud.

“So, what exactly happened between you and Christen?” she dares to ask after a few minutes. When Tobin looks at her, Alex adds on gently, “She seems like she was a big part of you.”

Tobin inhales deeply as she thinks about how to reply. Letting out a long breath, she knows she shouldn’t be surprised by the question. Alex had to have been curious when she stepped in and saved Tobin the other day in the cafe. There was history there and anyone could tell by the way Tobin reacted upon seeing Christen for the first time in a long time. She decides she might as well explain it all. Alex cares, and she deserves the right to know after being dragged into this mess.

“She was,” the midfielder nodded, trying to force the memories of her and Christen back. “I was in so deep for her.” She shakes her head, knowing just how true that statement is.

“So how’d it all start?”

The older girl hesitates, rubbing the back of her neck. “It never really did.”

Alex’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” Tobin sighs, still rubbing the back of her neck. “We never really dated.”

“What?” the younger girl gapes, pure surprise on her features. If the conversation wasn’t so touchy Tobin would’ve found the expression absolutely adorable.

“She and I...we weren’t...we never had a title. We just met and hit it off,” Tobin explained, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other so she didn’t have to look at Alex. “God, I was so crazy about her. She made me feel so important and wanted and--” she stops, shaking her head to snap her out of her trip down memory lane. “I thought she was perfect, really. We did this _thing_ for a few months; I don’t know what it was. We were dating without really dating, and somehow Christen made it sound like a perfect..” Looking over at Tobin, Alex’s jaw tightens at the dazed grin on Tobin’s lips.

“I would’ve gone to the ends of the earth for her, now that I think about it.” The gentle laugh comes out of Tobin’s mouth, shaking her head at the reality of it all.

“Damn,” Alex mumbles. She watches Tobin speak as if she’s in a spell. The way she talks so highly about Christen makes her want to find that stupid Stanford forward and give her a piece of her mind. Tobin was sweet and funny and laid back, and Christen took advantage of that.

“Things were going really well for us,” the midfielder continued, glancing over at Alex. “I was actually thinking about asking her to be my girlfriend, you know, like officially. But then suddenly, she was texting this guy.”  She shrugs, looking up to see they were nearing Alex’s dorm building. “Before I knew it she was blowing off our plans to go hang out with him, and it went on for a week before I finally decided it wasn’t going to work.” Tobin sighs, looking at the ground. She’s never said it all out loud. Lauren and Amy only know because they were there for the experience, and Tobin will never forget how grateful she was to have them by her side.

“What did you tell her?” Alex asks, her voice softer than it had been previously. She’s experiencing Tobin in raw emotion and she doesn’t want to take that for granted.

Tobin looks at Alex, noticing the genuine concern on her face. She doesn’t even realize her troubled expression softens at the sight of the forward. “I asked her about the guy, and she didn’t like that. We got into this fight and she wanted to make me stay, but I knew I couldn’t.”

“I’m so sorry,” Alex almost whispers, gently touching Tobin’s arm.

Something about Alex feels...safe for Tobin. It’s something she hasn’t felt so quickly for anyone else. Sure, there’s already a level of trust on the pitch, but this is a whole other level. Tobin’s not sure if it scares her or comforts her.

“Hey,” she chuckles, looking at her teammate. “Don’t be. It’s all good now.”

Alex laughs along with her, but really she’s confused on how Tobin could forgive so easily. Christen played her the whole way through and is still playing her now. She doesn’t think she will ever understand Tobin’s decision, but she has a feeling it’s because Christen knows how to play her so well. She’ll crumble when the taller girl plays her cards right and she’ll do it every time. The thought begins to anger Alex but seeing Tobin’s smile is able to melt some of it away.

“Well, we’re here,” Tobin states, coming to a stop at the entrance.

“Thanks for walking me back,” she smiles. “Even though I’m a little gross.”

The midfielder crinkles her nose and looks at Alex feigning disgust. “Yeah, you need a shower.”

Alex laughs, lightly hitting her on the arm. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Tobin laughs, a grin on her face. “For the record, I wouldn’t want anyone else to pretend to be my girlfriend..”

“It’s what friends are for,” the younger girl shrugs.

Somehow she feels like this is a weird, twisted goodbye. After Friday night, Christen goes back to Stanford and Tobin won’t need Alex’s help anymore. The thought makes Alex uneasy. _Dammit Alex, get it together._

Tobin nods, a faint smile still on her lips. “Yeah, friends.” She knows they’re teammates and friends, but she can’t shake the image of Alex strutting her way into Relaxation just a little while ago. _What the hell Tobin, you’ve only started talking to her. You were basically eye-fucking her._ But to be fair, Alex didn’t really give her another choice. She played her part well.

\--

“Where did you go this morning?” Lauren immediately demands as soon as Tobin strolls into her and Amy’s shared dorm.

“Well hello to you too Cheney.” Tobin stops in her place for a moment, caught off guard by Lauren’s abruptness. “Around,” she answers casually, plopping onto the bed a few feet away from Amy.

Amy looks up from her laptop, raising an eyebrow at her younger teammate. “What does that even mean?”

“You weren’t at the fields or in your dorm or in the dining hall,” the curly-haired midfielder adds, crossing her arms. “Those are the only places you are when you don’t have morning classes.”

“Uh,” Tobin looks between the two of her friends, knowing they were very right. “I went to Relaxation.”

“By yourself?”

“No, I met up with someone.”

“Who?” Lauren questions, suddenly even more interested in Tobin’s whereabouts.

Tobin bites her lip, knowing that she could possibly be yelled at in the next moment. Lauren and Amy don’t even know that Tobin had run into Christen the first time. She wonders how they’ll react to her meeting up with Christen willingly.

“Christen.”

“Christen Press?!” Amy screeches, sitting up so quickly that her laptop almost tumbles over the bed if Lauren - whose jaw dropped - hadn’t caught it by the screen.

“You guys are on speaking terms? Since when? Why didn’t you tell us?”

Lauren’s firing away questions so quickly that Tobin doesn’t even understand what she’s saying. She waits for her to finish, knowing she’s done by the wide eyes she’s being given by her taller best friend.

“It all kind of happened. We sort of ran into one another at the cafe the other day before you guys showed up,” she explains, trying to play it off as coolly as possible. “And then she asked if I wanted to meet up today, and I figured why not.”

Amy’s eyes narrow, looking at Tobin very carefully. “And what happened when you met up?”

“Well,” the midfielder started, tapping her hand on the top of her knee. She knows if Lauren and Amy had known sooner, they would’ve told her to avoid going to see Christen at all costs. “We’re kind of good now.”

“What do you mean ‘good’?” Amy asks, her lips turning down slightly.

“Good as in we’re friends,” Tobin answers, looking from Lauren to Amy.

It’s Lauren that goes crazy first. “What?! Tobin, are you kidding me? That girl has bad news written all over her!”

The younger of the two midfielders shakes her head, putting her hand up to stop Lauren. “It’s not like that, trust me.”

“And what makes you so sure, Tobs?”

Tobin rubs the back her neck. “She kind of thinks I have a girlfriend.”

Amy’s eyes widen so big Tobin thinks they could pop out if she tried a little harder. “No way! Did you tell her that?!”

“No!” she immediately replies, shaking her head. “No, I didn’t come up with that.”

“Then who did?”

“Alex,” Tobin says so softly she hopes they missed it and don’t ask again.

Lauren looks at her for a long moment, trying to figure out if she’d heard the correct name slip out of Tobin’s mouth. “Alex...as in Alex Morgan our forward Alex?”

“Uh, yeah,” she nods, then quickly rushes to her explanation before anymore questions can be shot her way. “She happened to be at the cafe when Christen showed up and I guess she saw I was having a hard time with her so Alex decided to pretend to be my girlfriend to get her off my back.”

Lauren and Amy are left speechless at the explanation Tobin’s placed in front of them. Sure, the two were friends with Alex and spent time with her every now and then, but this wasn’t something they think she’d do. Last time they checked, the only time Tobin and Alex ever associate or were seen together was anytime the team was together.

“Is that why I see you two talking a lot more?” Lauren’s the first to break the silence.

Tobin blinks. She wasn’t sure what to expect, but that question definitely wasn’t it. “Yeah, she’s cool. We’re kind of friends now.”

“So wait, if Christen thinks you have a girlfriend, why are you suddenly friends again?”

“Um, we talked this morning. I got closure, I guess,” Tobin shrugs, not really sure how to explain her events from this morning. “I just figured, it’s time to move on, you know?” She decides to leave out the part where Alex joined in on the fun and played one hell of a girlfriend.

“Just be careful Tobin,” Amy says, taking on the tone of a concerned mother. “Christen’s tricky.”

That’s how it always is - with Tobin being the youngest, the older two felt responsible for her and acted like older sisters or sometimes even mothered her at times. Tobin usually whines about it while the two just roll their eyes, but really she appreciates the gesture, even though she could very well handle this herself.

“Don’t worry,” the midfielder says with a chuckle. “Alex made it very clear who I’m with now.”

Lauren and Amy exchange a look of curiosity, but Tobin grabs the philosophy textbook off the floor and opens it up as if she’s going to do her homework, indicating she wouldn’t fill in the blanks.

\--

The ball sails into the air and Tobin’s off running after it once again. She loves the sport she plays because when it comes down to it, nothing else matters. She sprints to the ball, beating one of Stanford’s defensive midfielders to it and trapping it nicely with her foot before cutting into the opposite direction. She takes another touch before playing it to a wide open Lauren Cheney and watching as the play goes on for another moment before a defender clears it out past the sideline.

They’re currently tied 0-0 and if they don’t win everyone knows they won’t hear the end of it from Coach. Tobin knows they’re close; she can feel it in the rhythm of their passes and plays. Every second that ticks down just reminds her how they need to find the back of the net soon or else risk Stanford getting themselves on the scoreboard. Jolted, she hears her name being called and looks up just in time to receive a pass from Kelley. She takes the space on the left side, somehow left open by Stanford’s midfield. Just as a defender comes to tackle, she quickly passes it Heather, who plays a one touch pass back to Tobin once she’s open.

“TOBIN NOW!”

The midfielder doesn’t need to be told twice. She looks up, finding Alex and seeing her run towards the back post. With a touch, she serves the ball in. For some reason, she has an uncanny ability to find Alex on the field when they’re playing together. She smiles, knowing exactly what’s happening as it unravels. The forward beats her defender to the ball, taking a quick touch to the outside before shooting a laser into the net, too fast for the keeper to even reach for.

The whole team is jumping and screaming, and after her typical celebratory fist pump, Alex is running straight for Tobin, who accepts her with open arms. The forward’s arms are wrapped tightly around her center and they’re laughing as more of their teammates surround them. Alex loves playing with Tobin. They’ve only just started talking, but they had a connection on the field no one could explain. As their teammates begin to trickle back to their positions, Alex is able to see the field well enough to see the Stanford players returning back to their positions. She sees the familiar tanned forward watching them with a glare. It hits Alex with the perfect opportunity to mess with her once again because, really, people like Christen kind of deserve it.

She pulls Tobin in closer as they walk back to their positions, one arm still around Tobin as the other lightly tugs at the girl’s jersey. “That was such a good assist. She’s watching,” she whispers with her natural rasp. Alex then pulls away, sending her a wink before jogging back to her position. She passes Christen on her way and flashes her a cheeky smile, feeling satisfied at the girl’s boiling reaction.

Tobin, on the other hand, is dumbfounded by what just happened. She numbly jogs back to her position, trying to comprehend. Alex Morgan was all over her for the second time in twenty-four hours, and it was safe to say she drives the midfielder insane. Simply the fact Alex was so close and all over her was enough to send chills down her spine, but the rasp in her voice and the breath on Tobin’s skin made her gulp as she watched the forward wink and jog away. _Alex Morgan is a damn good fake girlfriend_ she thought to herself as she glanced in Christen’s direction to see her seething as she sent daggers Alex’s way. Oops?

When the final whistle blows, they’re all relieved. It was a slim 1-0, but Alex got them the game winner and it’s what really matters in the fast and physical game they just played. After taking care of post game business on the field, the bruins make their way back to the locker room, whooping and hollering and teasing each other in good spirits. No one can keep the stupid smile off their face and it’s just a good vibe overall for everyone.

“Hey,” Kelley greets, smacking Alex’s butt with her jersey.

Alex laughs, tossing her shinguards into her locker. “Hi yourself.”

“That goal was awesome,” the defender raves, a big grin on her face. “I love you for that, you know?”

“Of course,” the taller girl nods, unable to contain the smile on her face. She’s not sure which one she’s happier about: her game-winning goal or the look on Christen’s face when she saw Tobin and Alex after the goal. Either way, it’s been a successful evening so far.

Kelley’s bouncing around for another moment before she slightly sobers her mood. “Hey, what was that all about after the goal?”

Alex’s first instinct is to deny whatever Kelley’s thinking, but instead she chooses to play dumb as she tugs off her jersey. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” the freckled girl says in a low voice so no one else hears. “That little thing with you and Tobin? What the hell was that?”

The forward tosses her jersey into her bag and offers a shrug. “Nothing. Just telling Tobin it was great service.”

“You sure?” Kelley raised an eyebrow. “Looked like more than that.”

“Trust me Kel, it was nothing.” Alex confirms, giving her a serious stare. “We’re friends, chill.”

The older girl takes the hint, slowly backing off. “Okay, just asking,” she tries, putting her hands up in surrender.

The taller girl offers a small chuckle, shaking her head. “I’m hitting the shower.”

Alex is one of the last remaining girls in the locker room when she’s finally done showering. So maybe she took an extra long shower because she knows Tobin stays in the locker room later than everyone else. Maybe not. She slowly makes her way back to her locker, noticing it’s come down to Heather and Tobin remaining. She changes into her dark wash skinny jeans and a cute new top she’d bought last week as her two teammates continue their conversation. There’s a party that’s just beginning and of course, the team had been invited to join in on the fun. Alex wonders if Tobin’s attending too; she should ask her.

“Alright, see ya HAO!” Tobin waves as their teammate pulls her bag onto her shoulder.

“Bye HAO!” Alex calls from her locker, running the towel through her hair one more time before tossing it.

“Bye!” she calls back before leaving them alone.

Tobin tosses her cleats into her locker, trying to figure out if there’s anything else she needs. She’s in her black skinny jeans with a white tank and a red flannel that she finds incredibly comfortable. It was difficult to keep her mind focused on her conversation with Heather while Alex walked to her locker and changed. Tobin feels like she’s already seen enough of the forward, but when Alex pulls on those jeans she can’t help but take a sharp intake of air. She just looks so... _Get it together Tobin, she’s your friend, that’s all._

“Dude I’m still amazed at that goal,” she says as Alex shuts her locker for the night.

Alex turns and smiles, beaming at her. “The service was spot on.”

Tobin chuckles, getting her things together. “I guess we’re just that good together,” she shrugs, then adds quickly. “on the field.”

She doesn’t want Alex to think that she thinks there’s something there. Obviously, there’s not and they both know that. Tobin just has to ignore the fact her skin still burns from where Alex hugged her. It’s still tingling from her raspy voice on its surface. Alex is just a very good friend who’s very good at acting.

“Yeah,” Alex nods, trying not to bite her lip at the way Tobin looks. Her hair’s still wet, falling on one side of her shoulder. The outfit seems to fit the midfielder so well and honestly, Alex doesn’t remember the last time she’s seen Tobin in anything besides her uniform or nike shorts and a wide array of t-shirts and tanks.

“Hey, are you going to the party tonight?” she asks, trying to downplay how anxious she is to hear the girl’s answer.

Tobin shrugs, shutting her own locker. “Lauren and Amy talked me into it. I guess I’ll go for them.”

The forward laughs because Tobin’s making it sound like the party’s a chore rather than a fun time, but really she’s internally freaking out because yes, Tobin will be at the party. “It’s okay, I’ll keep you company,” she says, stuffing everything that’s left in her bag.

“I knew I could count on you Lex,” the older girl grins. “I’ll see you in a bit then,” she nods, giving her one more smile before exiting the locker room.

Tobin’s still smiling as she exits the locker room, and she can’t seem to wipe it off. She plans to make a quick stop at her dorm to drop off her things, but those plans immediately go out the window when Christen walks out of the away locker room and spots her as soon as she looks up from her phone.

“Toby!” she exclaims, a big smile on her face.

The midfielder can’t help but smile, somewhat relieved Christen’s not mad at her about the little goal celebration that happened earlier. She casually makes her way over, meeting Christen halfway. “Hey, you played a hell of a game out there.”

Christen’s cheeks flush and she gives her a bashful smile. “Me? You were on fire tonight, especially with that assist.”

It’s Tobin’s turn to grow shy and she shrugs. “Just playing the game I love,” she states, and it’s one of the best things about Tobin that people love so much. She’s so humble when it comes to her skill.

“Where’s your girlfriend?” Christen asks and it catches Tobin off guard for a moment but she bounces back fast, yet it’s not fast enough for Christen not to notice the confused expression she held for a second.

“Wh--Oh Alex? She’s finishing up in the locker room,” she explains, fiddling with the strap of her soccer bag.

The Stanford player crosses her arms, studying Tobin carefully. “So, how long have you two been together?”

 _Shit._ Tobin thinks, knowing she’s screwed and wishing Alex would get out of the locker room faster. “Uh...a few weeks?” she answers, knowing she may have messed up when it comes out more like a question.

“Hmm,” the taller girl nods, taking in Tobin’s response. “How did you guys get together anyway? She doesn’t really seem like you’re type, Toby.” she adds on, looking at Tobin with her brown-almost-hazel eyes with such feigned curiosity that Tobin can feel she’s beginning to sweat. “She seems like too…” Christen scrunches her nose. “ _much_.”

It takes Tobin a few moments to open her mouth and speak. “Well--” She’s cut off by a voice behind her.

“Tob!” a raspy voice calls out.

The two turn to see Alex exiting the home locker room with her soccer bag on her shoulder and wedges that make her a good few inches taller. Tobin’s once again relieved that Alex has come to her rescue, and Christen doesn’t even hide her glare anymore.

“Hey baby,” Tobin greets, giving Alex a thankful look as she approaches. “You took awhile.” She tries to ignore the feeling that rises in her when she notices Alex has her make up on and hair done for the party.

The forward beams at her, an extra bounce in her step when she sees Christen sending her nasty looks over Tobin’s shoulder. “Sorry I just had to fix my hair,” she apologizes, taking the last few steps towards the two. “Hey Christen,” she greets, this time getting her name right because Alex knows right now she probably has the upper hand. For extra measure she leans forward and kisses Tobin’s forehead.

“Alex,” she replies with distaste in her mouth. “I was just asking Tobin, how did you two get together? She was telling me how you’ve been together for a few weeks now.”

Alex looks at Tobin for a moment, noticing the apologetic look on her face and takes her hand reassuringly before answering Christen’s question. “We’ve known each other since last season, but we didn’t really talk unless it was soccer related. It wasn’t until preseason came around that we started talking a lot, and God that’s when I found out just how much of a dork this one is,” she laughs, rolling her eyes and nudging Tobin lightly. The midfielder chuckles softly, but hers is from nerves and wondering how well Alex can flawlessly pulls it off every time.

“And after a particularly good game - I guess we were high on the win - this big dumb kissed me and I guess the rest is history,” she finishes, completing the story but looking at Tobin adoringly. Alex doesn’t even know how she made up the lie so quickly, but she has to applaud herself for doing it so well in the amount of time given.

This time Tobin’s the one to keep the act going for the first time when she wraps her arm around Alex’s waist, bringing her in closer. “Yeah,” she nods, looking at Alex in amazement. “It just kinda happened.”

Christen looks from Alex to Tobin, but the two are just looking at each other at this point. Tobin’s looking into Alex’s bright blue eyes, realizing just how bright they are. She doesn’t know that they’re brighter around her. Then she does that thing again where she flickers her eyes down to Alex’s lips for too many seconds for Alex to ignore and it drives the younger girl insane because there’s something in her telling her to lean in, but she doesn’t know if that crosses lines.

“Interesting,” the Stanford player says shortly, snapping the two out of the daze they were in.

“Chris! Are you coming?”

They all turn to see one of Christen’s teammates waiting for her a few yards away, looking at her expectantly. After a quick nod, the teammate stays there, waiting for her to walk over.

“I should get going,” she announces, looking at Tobin with a slight pout. “It was so good to see you again, Tobin.”

“Yeah, good to see you too,” the midfielder answers genuinely, loosening her grip from Alex.

Alex hates how easily Christen can play her. She hates how Tobin’s so forgiving and trusting towards someone who caused her so much pain. Suddenly she feels cold without Tobin’s arm around her, and it’s crazy because really Tobin doesn’t have much arm to begin with. But still, she feels colder without Tobin’s heat emanating onto her.

The younger girl’s jaw clenches as Christen pulls Tobin in for a hug, and how the girl revels in it, making it last much longer than it should. The fact that Tobin lets her makes Alex’s stomach churn.

“I’ll text you, okay?” Christen tells the older girl, pulling away from the hug. Her hands run down Tobin’s arms until they rest on her wrists, much like the day before. She bats her eyelashes so smoothly Alex wants to rip them off.

Tobin nods, a soft smile on her face. “Yeah, of course.”

“I’ll miss you Toby.”

“Babe, we should get going,” Alex speaks up, reminding both of them that she’s very well still there. “You need to drop your stuff off at your dorm, don’t you?”

“Right,” Tobin says, pulling her wrists away from Christen, whose hands loosely fall to her sides. “Yeah, we should head out then.”

“I think I’m gonna stop by my dorm because Syd might be waiting for me,” Alex tells her, ignoring Christen’s presence altogether. Her hand finds it’s way onto Tobin’s arm, rubbing it gently. “I’ll just meet up with you later, yeah?” She’s talking about the party, but Christen doesn’t need to know that. For all she knows, she’s probably thinking they’re going out on a post game date.

The midfielder nods with a smile on her face. “Sounds good to me Lex.”

The next thing that happens is a surprise to both of them. Without even thinking, Alex’s instinct guides her to lean in until her lips meet with Tobin’s. They’re inviting and slightly chapped and Alex wants more of them. She doesn’t realize what she’s doing, but it feels too good for her to care.

Tobin, on the other hand, is stunned, but wow are Alex’s lips are soft and smooth. It’s a soft, sweet kiss, but it’s more than enough for the both of them.

Coming to her senses, Alex is the one to break it off, looking at Tobin for a long moment. They’re both dazed, unsure of what’s going on anymore.

It takes Alex another second, but she’s brought back to the reality of the situation and she turns to Christen with the biggest smile. “Nice meeting you!”

It’s so difficult for her to keep her mind straight because all she can think about is the fact she just kissed Tobin and now she wants to kiss her again. She shouldn’t feel that way, but she still does and she doesn’t know what to do with that information. Her eyes stay focused on Christen, who just glares at her in return before walking away to catch up with her teammate. She has to force herself to keep her smile at a minimum because there’s a shit eating grin behind the surface after knowing she just won the game.

Tobin’s completely out of it. All she understands is that her lips are on fire, but she wants them to keep burning. She can just manage to stare at Alex as she bids Christen goodbye. _What the hell is going on here?_ she wonders, trying to figure out how they ended up here. Alex is seriously one of the best actors Tobin’s ever seen live.

“Alex, I--”

“I’ll see you at the party Tobin,” Alex says quickly, immediately walking to her dorm building, not looking back.

 _What the fuck did you just do?_ she screams at herself internally. But the more important question is why she wants to do it again.

\--

The loud music is pulsing through her veins and she’s lucky she’s found her best friends in the packed place. Since Alex kissed her in front of Christen, the midfielder’s mind hasn’t been able to shut up. She can’t stop thinking about Alex and that kiss and honestly everything that’s happened in the past few days. There’s something evident in the way her thoughts are working: she wants Alex. But that’s impossible; she can’t have her. So when she sees Lauren and Amy, she tells them that she needs a drink immediately and begins to down the alcohol until it’s enough to let loose for a little one. They won god dammit, she should be able to enjoy her night without confusion.

“Woah Tobin,” Amy says, pulling the cup away from Tobin’s lips. “Slow down there.”

“I’m fine,” Tobin insists, attempting to put the cup back up to her lips.

The blonde forward stops her again and gives her a look. “What’s with all the drinking tonight, Tobin?”

“What?” she asks, pulling the cup towards her chest defensively. “We won! I’m allowed celebrate, aren’t I?!”

Amy stares at her for a moment before nodding. “I guess so,” she sighs. “Just don’t drink too much.”

Tobin does a mock salute with her free hand. “You got it A-Rod,” she answers before swallowing the rest of her drink. She’s already on her third drink of the night and she hasn’t even been at this party long enough for that to be acceptable

“Hey, can you get me another one?”

Alex has been lost in her thoughts the whole way back to her room, while Syd took a whole twenty minutes extra to get ready and on the way to the party. One name clouded her thoughts: Tobin. Ever since she got involved with Tobin, her thoughts have been a jumbled mess and Alex can’t say if it’s a good or bad thing. She can’t stop thinking about her now and the way it felt to kiss her. There’s no way she could want to kiss her again. She shouldn’t have even kissed her the first time. Alex doesn’t know why she did it. She just knows one second she’s looking at the midfielder and the next she’s kissing her.

She’s so far deep into her thoughts that Sydney stops walking and talking at one point and watches Alex continue walking for a moment before grabbing her arm and pulling her back.

“Hey! Earth to Alex!” she yells, snapping her fingers in front of Alex’s face.

Alex blinks, taking in her surrounds before focusing on her friend. They were actually only a few minutes away from the party already - she hadn’t even noticed. “Huh?”

“What’s up in that head of yours?” Sydney asks, dropping Alex’s arm. “You’ve been weird since you came back from the locker room.

“Nothing important,” the brunette insists, shaking her head. “Just thinking about random things.”

“Random things like what?”

_Like how good it feels to kiss Tobin. Like how good I feel just being around Tobin. Like how much I want to spend time with Tobin. Like how I possibly made things weird after kissing her._

“Like how badly I need a drink.” Alex replies with a chuckle before grabbing Sydney’s hand and getting them to the party.

She isn’t kidding about how badly she needs a drink, though.

The scene is live and most of the soccer team has arrived at the party, celebrating their victory and having fun for the night. It’s a big party, so many different people on campus - and of course random people who don’t even go to UCLA - have found their way here and it’s packed. Tobin doesn’t know why she doesn’t go out often. Yeah, she doesn’t really like being around a lot of people like this, but it’s so fun to let loose and have a good time with her friends.

She’s already lost count of how many drinks she’s had, but she figures it’s time to take a break from the drinks anyway. It’s a little bit of a struggle to maintain a somewhat amusing conversation with some of her teammates because most of them are more drunk than she is and they can’t get through a sentence without either laughing or slurring every other word. Tobin only laughs at how far gone they’ve let themselves go, but can’t really blame them because of the game they’d just played.

“Tobsy dance with me!” Pinoe slurs, sloppily falling against Tobin. The brunette is laughing at her friend, finding the situation far too amusing.

“Fine but I get this then.” Tobin says, pulling the red cup out of Pinoe’s hand as she gets dragged to the dance floor. The song booms louder in the middle of the moving crowd and Tobin can already feel her body moving to the music. Taking a big swig of whatever Pinoe was drinking, Tobin cringes at the burn and wonders if the shorter girl filled this cup with tequila.

“Take it like a champ Tob!” Pinoe cheers, bringing the cup back to Tobin’s lips. _Tonight is for you. If you wanna let loose and buzz out the thoughts then do it._

Tobin finishes off the drink and lets her inner frat boy out when she roars out against the burning in her throat. She feels the warmth spread through her chest and it makes her smile like an idiot. Dropping the cup, Tobin starts moving to the music not caring that she’s dancing alone.

“Yeah Tobs!” Pinoe cheers, dancing alongside her. Tobin’s sure they look like idiots but she wants to dance and that’s exactly what she’s doing. She loves it.

Tobin’s not sure how but they’ve got a small group around them and it just adds to the energy she’s feeding off of. It starts getting too hot for her flannel so she takes it off, tying it around her waist. She feels the air on her arms and feels even more liberated.

One of the guys in the group is cheering Tobin on when she tries mimicking the way he was dancing and it makes her laugh harder than she has the entire night. Her cheeks ache from how relentless her smile has been since the beginning of the night but she doesn’t plan on having it let up. She planned on celebrating without a worry and the night hasn’t let her down.

When Syd and Alex finally got to the party the younger girl demanded they hit the drinks first. Alex doesn’t protest, not when she knows she needs to let loose if she’s going to see Tobin sometime that night. Seven shots later and she and Syd are feeling great.

“Is that Kel?” Syd slurs, sloppily raising her hand to point at some girl in the middle of the dance floor. Alex searches the crowd as best she can, eager to see Kelley making a fool of herself. She doesn’t find Kelley, instead her eyes land on a familiar brunette.

Alex smiles, licking her lips after telling Syd she’s going to dance. Her lips are burning and she can’t figure out if it’s because of all the alcohol or for what the night could bring.

When she gets close enough to Tobin, the striker curses. _She would be wearing a tank._ Alex chastises herself for ever thinking it was a shirt. She eyes the girl’s arms, biting her lip when she sees how the girl bashfully smiles. There’s a longing in the pit of her stomach and Alex knows things could get messy if she goes up to Tobin but she’s already walking up to her.

Alex is a few steps away from Tobin when the girl finally sees her. A look of pure excitement is in her eyes as she calls out to the girl. It makes her heart race when she sees it.

“Alex!” Tobin yells oozing with excitement.

The midfielder makes her way to Alex, her eyes flickering down to the younger girl’s lips. She can’t help it really. Tobin’s eyes leave the girl’s lips and move up to eyes. She can feel her lips burn with the memory of Alex kissing her and she so desperately wants it to happen again. She’s completely past lying to herself. The alcohol had managed to dull out the nagging worries but it also singled out a few more prominent thoughts.   Alex has this smoldering look in her eyes and Tobin tells herself to forget it and just have fun. _No drama._

“Hey.” The striker says eyeing Tobin with a smirk that sends Tobin’s heart on overtime. Tobin knows she doesn’t want drama but Alex is drama. And suddenly drama doesn’t sound that bad.

“You look amazing.” Tobin compliments. She lets her eyes run up and down Alex, taking in her outfit before meeting the girl’s eyes.

Alex reaches out and lets her hand rest on Tobin’s forearm. “You saw me earlier, idiot!” Tobin just smiles with a shrug.

“Lets dance!” The midfielder shouts. Alex knows this could end in the exact way she doesn’t want it to but she also knows she didn’t walk onto the dancefloor to ask for Stat notes.

Alex wraps her arms around Tobin’s neck, pressing against the girl’s small frame. Tobin’s hands find Alex’s waist with ease and soon they’re dancing. Alex can feel Tobin’s heart racing but her attention doesn’t stay on that. It moves to the way Tobin’s losing herself in the song. It’s all so simple, the way they’re enjoying this moment. The thing is, they’re at a party and Alex Morgan doesn’t do simple when it comes to parties. _We’re in fucking college and I look fucking amazing._  Alex thinks when the song changes.

Moving her hands from Tobin’s neck, Alex turns around. The brown eyed girl is about to ask her where she’s going when suddenly the younger girl’s back is pressed against her. The songs starts and all Tobin hears is something about being “worth it” before her attention is on Alex and the way she’s dancing. _This isn’t how friends dance. Abort. This isn’t how friends dance._

When Alex feels Tobin tense behind her, she reaches back one hand and rests it on the girl’s insane jawline. The brunette leans back a bit and moves her lips to Tobin’s ear. She can feel Tobin’s shallow breath wash over her neck as she gets closer and it sends chills up her spine.

“I thought you wanted to dance, Heath.” Alex asks in the shell of Tobin’s ear. She pulls back, her hand sliding off the line of Tobin’s jaw as she smirks. She turns her head to give Tobin this pointed look, egging her on to do something. Alex’s smirk turns into a smile when she feels Tobin loosen up. T _hat’s how Alex Morgan fucking does it._ Swelling with pride when she feels Tobin dancing behind her.

Never in a million years would Alex have thought she’d be dancing with Tobin at a party but then again she never thought she would ever kiss the girl either, but here they are now. With Alex pressing against Tobin to a song she’s never heard and Tobin with her hands on her hip following the way they move. Alex presses further into the girl desperate for more of Tobin against her.

The contact is killing Tobin. It’s a slow burn and Tobin’s never been one to soak a band aid before ripping it off. She’s getting so lost in Alex’s perfume and the way she’s moving on her that the words that come out of her mouth had no chance of getting a second thought.

“I’m so glad you were my pretend girlfriend.”

Alex can barely hear Tobin over the music but she turns her head ever so slightly, eyeing Tobin with the same smoldering look she gave her not too long ago.

“Yeah?”

All the air leaves Tobin’s lungs and she swears she’s never been so attracted to someone but she shakes her head. _Not the time. Just dance. This is great._

 

Across the room Lauren and Amy exchange knowing looks with one another. “You see what I see right?”

“Yeah.”

The two girls watch the two not sure how to interpret the situation outside of what it is.

“Should we go and--” Lauren’s about to intervene when Amy grabs her arm giving her a disapproving look.

“Just give Tobin tonight. We’ll talk to her about it tomorrow.” There’s a soft smile on the blondes face and Lauren figures she’s right. She hasn’t seen her friend enjoy herself in a long time, not since the early Christen days. Taking one last look at Alex and Tobin, Lauren smirks, turning back to Amy and this one boy she met a few minutes ago, Jrue.

They’re talking for a while and Lauren laughs at his poor attempts to flirt with her. She finds it beyond cute and she’s about to try something when she feels someone push past her. She falls against Jrue but he catches her graciously with a laugh. Lauren apologizes, looking up at the tall man before looking to see who pushed her. Her eyes land on a familiar face and it takes her a few minutes to put a name to it but when she does her eyes go wide as saucers.

“Lauren.” Amy says, the alarm in her voice making the curly haired girl turn to her friend. Amy puts her hand on Lauren’s arm giving her a worried look before moving her attention to the entrance of the house. Lauren has a feeling she knows what she’s about to see but she really hopes she’s wrong. Sadly, she isn’t.

Lauren’s eyes follow Christen as she laughs along with her friends. “We can get Tobin out the back!” Amy yells over the music and Lauren considers it. She looks over her shoulder to Jrue who’s been patiently waiting with a playful smile on his face and then she glances back at Tobin who’s still with Alex. “Tobin should be okay as long as Alex is there. If things get sticky we’ll go.” Lauren’s jaw clenches as she keeps telling herself, _Let her have tonight. Just tonight before things get messy._

Amidst the crowd, Tobin struggles to catch her breath. Her hands have fallen from Alex’s waist only because the girl is holding them in her own. Tobin’s so overwhelmed by the night that she’s barely realized the sharp sting in her thighs. She wonders if Alex feels it too and if she’s struggling just as much as Tobin is to keep up.

“Do you,” Tobin pants out, her breath washing over Alex’s neck. “want to get something to drink?” She can’t tell if Alex’s legs are starting to feel as heavy as hers but if they are Alex is doing a great job of not showing it. The blue eyed striker smiles at her, turning around to face the girl and for the first time that night Tobin feels bare.

Alex leans into Tobin, swerving past her lips and moving to the girl’s ear. She whispers against Tobin and the girl can actually feel her stomach drop. “Yeah, lets go.” She knows she’s teasing Tobin but Alex can’t help it. The look on Tobin’s face when Alex does _anything_ would make the girl tease her endlessly.

She pulls back and gestures for them to go but it goes unnoticed. Instead, Tobin moves her hand up to her neck, holding Alex still as she presses her lips against the girl.

There’s this breathless moment when their lips first touch and it’s enough for Tobin to know that Alex wants this just as much as she does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all the feedback we've been receiving! Keep it coming, we want to know what you guys think about the story and the characters and everything :)


	3. Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're all so lovely! Thank you for sending in asks and commenting on chapters, we love reading them!

Pressing further, Alex holds Tobin by the hips getting lost in their kiss. It’s everything Alex remembers and more. There’s a freeness to this kiss masked by the initial need the two feel as they try to find their pace. It’s nothing like the peck they shared by the locker rooms and it’s leaving both of them breathless.

“I’ve been wanting to do that all night.” Tobin breathes against Alex’s lips when they barely pull away for air. Alex lets out a soft breathless laugh before taking Tobin’s bottom lip between her own.

“You have no idea.”

The kiss is simple but it screams everything the two have been denying themselves.

The younger girl pulls away, smirking at the sound of disapproval Tobin lets out. She takes Tobin’s hands and revels in the way Tobin slides her fingers into the spaces between her own. She takes a few steps back, slightly biting her bottom lip before shaking her head and turning around. Tobin’s seen so much of her smile that night she’s sure the girl won’t miss it too much.

Leading them through the moving crowd, Alex can’t get the dazed look Tobin was giving her out of her head. It was pretty much the only thing on her mind, save the lingering feeling of Tobin’s touch all over her. Alex can’t remember the last time she’s felt this taken by someone. The thought leaves her bubbling. She tightens her grip on Tobin’s hand when she sees the table with all the drinks on it. Taking one glance back at the older girl, she wonders why she waited so long to actually see Tobin.

“I’ll have what you have!” Alex says when they make their way over to the drinks. Tobin just beams, letting go of their hands to grab two cups.

The brown eyed girl doesn’t like the emptiness she feels after she lets go of Alex’s hand but she has drinks to pour and she’s determined not to make a mess. Putting all her attention in gripping the glass bottle and the plastic cup, Tobin barely notices how Alex is watching her.

“Lex!”

Alex spins around when she hears her name. All too quickly Syd and Kelley are bombarding her with questions about where she’s been.

“We couldn’t find you anywhere!” Syd slurs with a lopsided smile. Kelley and Alex laugh at her, thankful that neither of them are _that_ far gone.

As Kelley takes Alex’s attention, Tobin’s still struggling to pour herself a drink. She’s glaring at her cup in full concentration. She’s about to pour the tequila when someone startles her.

“Toby!” Christen squeals. Her cheeks are pink and her smile matches that of Tobin’s. They’re fucking idiots. There’s a reason their friends don’t usually let them drink. “Oh my god!” The girl is still squealing and Tobin finds it endlessly entertaining.

Abandoning the drinks, Tobin turns to Christen. “What’re you doing here?!”

“Getting fucked up!” The striker screams, raising her cup. Tobin’s laughing at her and it only encourages Christen. She puts her hand on Tobin’s arm and takes a lasting swig of her drink, finishing it off.

“Tobin dance with me!”

Christen tugs her toward the dance floor but Tobin’s reluctant to follow. She hasn’t had enough in her to forget about the way Alex’s body felt against hers. “I’m getting a drink--” Tobin does her best to find a way out of this.

Meanwhile, Alex is so engrossed by Kelley that she’s losing her mind replaying the sight of Kelley taking a shot and totally missing her face. The freckled girl is laughing just as hard, wiping her chin off with the back of her hand. She’s about to try again when something behind Alex catches her eye.

“Woah Al, they weren’t kidding!” Kelley says with a look of disbelief. “I think that’s her ex!” Kelley moves her eyes back to Alex after eyeing whatever she was looking at.

“Who’s ex?” Alex asks mindlessly. She turns around to look at whatever Kelley was talking about and the second she sees it, Kelley yells, “Tobin’s!” as if Alex didn’t know.

She feels a warmth growing at the back of her neck as she watches Christen try to pull Tobin to the dance floor. Her jealous rises when she sees Christen do her fake ass pout as Tobin rubs the back of her neck. The warmth spreads into her chest and Alex decides she’s had enough.

Making her way to the two, Alex slides her arms around Tobin’s waist. She pulls the girl against her so that her back is flush against her front. The look on Christen’s face is nothing short of priceless.

“Tob, I’ve been looking for you!” Alex whines, pressing her lips against Tobin’s neck. “I thought you were getting our drinks?” Beneath Alex’s pout she’s swelling with pride, daring Christen to do something.

Tobin pants out a nervous laugh. She’s doing her best to focus on what’s happening but she can’t shake the feeling of Alex’s lips on her skin. Her eyes move from Christen’s to Alex and she wonders when things got so complicated. To her horror, all she manages to say is, “Christen” as she points to the girl.

“Oh right.” Christen smirks. “The girlfriend.” She says it with a scoff. “I just wanted to dance with Tobin since I’m leaving tomorrow.”

Alex’s tightens her grip on the girl. “Yeah, well she’s here with me tonight and we were just about to dance. Sorry.” Tobin’s never heard so much venom laced in Alex’s voice until that moment and it sent a shiver through her. _Is Alex jealous?_

“Well I think Tobin can answer for herself, right Toby?” Christen gives her those puppy dog eyes and it instills just enough guilt in Tobin that she actually finds herself moving out of Alex’s grasp. “It’s just one dance.”

Alex can’t believe that Tobin actually fell for that bullshit. She grabs Tobin’s wrist and holds it tightly, tugging on it for the girl to look at her. When she does she can see the resignation in Tobin’s eyes.

“It’s just one dance, Lex.” Tobin puts it simply. “I got this.”

The midfielder reads the pleading in Alex’s expression and it drains her. She wants to stay with Alex, she wants to spend the whole night with Alex. But Christen was right. She’s leaving for Stanford tomorrow and no matter what, Christen is still her friend and Alex is her… friend.. too. Wondering how things got so messed up, Tobin leans up and pecks Alex’s cheek. A promise that she’s got this.

Christen is all too happy to lead them onto the dance floor. Her hand is in Tobin’s and it brings back flashes of everything that made up their time together. Tobin wills the thoughts away when she feels how her fingers awkwardly hang in the spaces between Christen’s. She feels a hollowing in the pit of her stomach when she thinks of how Alex’s hand held her not too long ago. Taking a quick look, Tobin finds Alex and stares at the girl.

“Hey.” Christen says, turning Tobin’s head to face her. “One more? For old times?” _For old times_ , Tobin reasons.

It’s taking every part of Alex to turn away from the two when Christen puts her hands on Tobin’s hips. She turns around and tries to push out all the screaming thoughts with a few shots of whatever Kelley was having.

“Dude, are you okay?” There’s a look of concern on Kelley’s face when Alex downs her third shot. “You look like you’re going to puke.”

_Yeah, well you try watching Tobin with another girl’s hands all over her._

“I just want another drink.” Alex groans, throwing her empty cup on the floor.

As Alex watches Kelley fumbles over herself, Tobin is doing her best to put some space between her and Christen. The girl keeps getting too close to her and the contact makes her sick to her stomach.

 _Alex is your friend, Tobin. Your friend that you kissed. No, you can’t be doing any of this._ Tobin feels dirty. She feels like she’s cheating on something that isn’t real but how can it not be real when Alex is standing toward the back of the room with all her attention. Missing the sight of those blue eyes, Tobin tries to glance over at the forward but Christen stops her.

“Don’t, Tobin. Just--” Christen glances over at Alex and when she sees the girl look their way she decides to get a little payback for what happened on the pitch. The Stanford striker purposely angles herself as she leans closer to Tobin. The UCLA midfielder takes a step back but it’s only greeted by Christen’s step forward. She moves her lips next to Tobin’s ear to talk against the music. “Dance with m---” Christen doesn’t get a chance to finish before Alex is pulling Tobin away from her.

“That’s enough.” Alex spits out. She’s seething with every shade of red. Her grip on Tobin’s arm is getting tighter but Tobin doesn’t have it in her to do anything about it.

Christen reaches out to Tobin but Alex gets in between them, swearing to herself she won’t do anything she’ll regret.

“Tob--”

“Christen, you should go.” Lauren voice is stern and it startles Christen. “Seriously.”

The curly-haired UCLA midfielder and looking directly at the forward with her jaw tight. Right next to her was Amy, and although she was significantly shorter, she was still just as intimidating with the cold look she was giving Christen. The two didn’t move at all, still focused on the Stanford student who didn’t belong in the scene.

Christen stares at them for a moment, surprised at their arrival. There’s still alcohol running through her system, but the reality of it all is setting in quickly. “Lauren,” she says. “Amy.”

“I think it’s time for you and your friends to go,” Lauren states evenly, her voice still so stern that it even surprises Alex and Tobin.

The Stanford striker doesn’t reply to Lauren, just turns, looking at Tobin to see what she’s making out of all of this. The midfielder’s at a loss and looks between Christen and Lauren.

Alex watches Christen carefully, her hand sliding down Tobin’s arm until it keeps the girl’s hand and holds onto it, making sure Christen can very well see what she’s doing. Christen shifts her eye back at Tobin, giving her a helpless look. Alex wants to punch her for making herself look like the victim again.

Tobin sighs, feeling her whole body kind of deflate as she looks between her friends. “Guys,” she says, slipping herself out of Alex’s grasp. “it’s fine. We were just…” she trails off, not really sure how to finish her sentence. She wants to make the whole situation better, but she doesn’t know how. She’s not even sure if it’s possible at this point.

“I’ll text you tomorrow,” she finally says, looking at Christen with a half smile. “Hope you and your team get back to Stanford safely.”

Christen takes the hint Tobin’s trying to give her and this time she doesn’t fight it. She smiles instead, knowing she’ll be expecting a text from the midfielder tomorrow. “Okay thanks,” the forward smiles back. She pulls her into a hug that lasts too long for Alex’s liking and gives Tobin’s arm a small squeeze before pulling away. “Bye Toby.”

“Bye Chris.”

The Stanford player gives a satisfied look in Alex’s direction, knowing she’s gotten exactly what she wanted, and she has to hide the smirk that wants to form when she sees Alex seething. She turns and walks away, not even acknowledging the other two bruins as she passes them.

Lauren waits until she’s completely gone to direct a concerned look Tobin's way. “Are you okay?”

Alex is suddenly filled with anger and frustration. It’s been building up the past few minutes, but now she can’t take it anymore. As soon as Christen’s out of sight, she storms off, finding the closest exit she can. She’s beginning to sober up way too quickly and she needs air. Actually, she doesn’t just need air, she needs to be _away from Tobin_.

Tobin was about to answer Lauren’s question, but when Alex storms off she mumbles something about being right back and she follows the forward to wherever she’s going. It’s evident by the way the younger girl’s walking that something’s wrong and somehow Tobin feels responsible.

“Alex,” the midfielder calls out once the warm night air hits her face.

The younger brunette’s standing a few feet away, back to her. She just wanted to get away from Tobin. “What do you want?” she asks, turning around so fast she almost twists her ankle.

Tobin’s taken aback but the abrupt question, but approaches her anyway. “Why’d you leave?” When she gets no response and instead Alex looks at the ground, she tries again. “Alex, what’s wrong? What’s--?”

“Ugh!” Alex shouts at her so suddenly that Tobin actually cringes. “Why do you keep doing this, Tobin?”

“What are you talking about?” she questions, knitting her eyebrows together.

“You keep fucking going back to her!” the forward exclaims, feeling all her frustration pour out of her. “No matter what happens, you always go back!”

Tobin blinks, trying to understand what’s happening and why Alex is so upset. “What?”

“God,” she groans. “How fucking stupid can you be, Tobin? Christen plays you every single time she opens her mouth! She gets her way with you because you believe every stupid word she says!”

“That’s not true!” Tobin immediately shoots back.

Alex scoffs, rolling her eyes. “Please. She still has you wrapped around her finger. ‘ _It’s just one dance, right Toby?_ ’” she mimics, anger pulsing through her veins. Just the thought of Christen alone is enough to keep her fired up.

“I totally had that situation under control! You didn’t need to come save me. I was fine!”

Maybe it was the adrenaline from the game, or maybe it was the alcohol, either way too much was happening and Tobin wasn’t sure what to do with any of it. She’s never seen Alex so worked up and to be honest she’s not sure why she is.

“Right,” Alex nods, a sadistic smile on her face. “Just like all the other times. What’s the point of having me around then, huh? What’s the point of me coming to ‘help’ you if you keep walking right back into her arms?”

Tobin stares at her for a long moment, trying to figure it all out. She sees the vulnerability in her eyes and the way she’s trying to keep her voice steady.

“Why do you care if I end up with her again, Alex?” she asks genuinely.

It’s becoming clear now that Alex cares a lot, she’s _been_ caring a lot. _Why Alex? Why does it matter so much?_

Never has Alex felt as fragile as she does now. She swallows the lump in her throat in hopes she can keep herself together for a few more minutes. The young forward doesn’t understand any of this at all. She doesn’t know how they’ve found themselves in this position when all she wanted to do was help a teammate out.

“She’s no good for you Tobin,” she says softly, hoping it’s enough for her to understand.

“Isn’t that for me to decide?” Tobin questions.

Alex just looks at her with blue eyes that aren’t shining as bright as Tobin knows they can and without a smile Tobin has learned she loves to flash. Of course it is Tobin’s right to decide, but deep down, Alex knows she wishes Tobin would choose her.

“Be sure to tell Christen we broke up,” is all she says before she begins to walk away.

“Alex!” Tobin calls out, now more confused than ever. “Hey, Alex!” She jogs after her, grabbing her wrist and tugging at it to make the striker face her. “Talk to me Lex,” she pleads, then suddenly wishes she hadn’t.

The younger girl tugs her wrist out of Tobin’s grip, shaking her head. “Don’t call me that.” The simple nickname is already forming knots in Alex’s stomach and she can’t decide if they’re good or bad, but she knows she needs to leave. So she walks away, feeling Tobin’s brown eyes watching her go.

-

Alex pokes her best friend’s arm, trying to get a reaction from here. When nothing happens, she lifts her eyes to meet Kelley’s, who’s trying to hold in her laughter. The forward grins, poking Sydney a little harder this time.

“Syd, are you alive?” Kelley asks, poking her on the side of her head.

The younger forward elicits a groan, signaling that she is indeed still alive. Her head is buried into her arms as she rests her face against the cool table of the breakfast joint they’re at.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” the defender chuckles, deciding to leave Sydney alone for now. “I guess you partied too hard last night, huh?”

“Shut it,” she mumbles, but it comes out muffled because of her position.

Alex looks at her friend and shakes her head, thankful she wasn’t as far gone as Sydney had been last night. She woke up and remembered everything - though some of it was a blur, but still. Now that she thinks about it, she’s not sure it’s a good thing because she remembers everything in vivid detail. It’s obvious she does because when the thought of Tobin should bring a smile on her face without hesitation, now she’s felt like she’s lost the midfielder when really...she didn’t even have her.

Tobin just needed her for a favor. She was just trying to be a good teammate and help her out, but somewhere between the cafe and last night’s party, it became something much more than a favor to Alex. She wants to say it was more than a favor to Tobin too; the girl had kissed her last night for crying out loud, but they were both drunk and giddy from their win earlier that night to really think about what they were doing.

As she recounts last night’s events, Alex cringes at just how protective over Tobin she was. Tobin wasn’t even hers to protect - fake girlfriend or not. It doesn’t even matter anyway. The older girl will always go back to Christen no matter what. And that’s why Alex walked away last night. She couldn’t tell Tobin why it mattered so much to her.

“I need to use the restroom,” Sydney says wearily, slowly lifting her head up and squinting at her two friends.

It snaps Alex back to reality, not realizing how far she’d zoned out. “Do you need help?” she asks, getting ready to stand from her seat.

The younger girl shakes her head, beginning to stand on her own. “I think I got this,” she answers, making her way to the restrooms in the back.

“If she’s not back in ten minutes you’re checking on her,” Kelley states with a pointed look.

Alex offers a small laugh, rolling her eyes. “Sure Kel.”

Honestly, she hasn’t been really _there_ with Kelley and Sydney at all this mid-morning. When she woke up to see Sydney still passed out in the bed next to hers, Alex sat there and let everything from the night before come back, and she felt almost empty. She immediately replied to Kelley’s text when she saw the word “brunch” involved because she figured that a meal and time with her two best friends would make her feel better. No such luck.

Kelley’s noticed how quiet Alex is being. She knows it’s not because she drank too much because Alex Morgan knows how to hold her liquor, almost better than Kelley herself does. There are parts of last night Kelley can’t really remember, but one moment in particular stands out to her and has bothered her since she recalled it. She remembers Alex almost sprinting away from her once she sees what Kelley pointed out as Tobin talking to her ex and wondering why she was so concerned. Seeing Alex between them protectively was surprising and slightly entertaining so Kelley decided to continue watching. The confrontation is a blur to Kelley, but she does remember Alex storming off and Tobin chasing after her. She doesn’t know how in the world this ever occurred, but she feels like she has a right to know.

“Al, what are you thinking about?” she asks when she realizes Alex has drifted into her thoughts for the second time within twenty minutes.

The forward blinks, turning to look at her. “Huh? Nothing.”

“Something on your mind?”

“No.”

“Is it last night?” Kelley presses, trying to get the information out of Alex. When Alex’s mouth opens, but no words come out, she decides she can get somewhere. “I remember seeing something last night,” she starts slowly, eyeing Alex to catch her reaction. “Do you know Tobin’s ex-girlfriend?”

The mention of the girl alone is enough to make Alex’s jaw tighten just a little, and Kelley knows she’s onto something. Before she can ask another question, the waiter arrives with their food.

“Thanks,” the two of them say in unison, flashing small smiles before he walks off.

Alex begins to dig into her meal, not answering Kelley’s question. Kelley lifts her fork, but decides to try again.

“How do you know her?”

The younger girl’s grip tightens on her fork. “I don’t,” she answers shortly, shoving a forkful of eggs into her mouth.

Kelley’s eyebrow lifts, staring at Alex intently. “Huh? Then why did you--”

“Look,” Alex says suddenly, cutting her off. She eyes Kelley with a slight frown. “It was nothing. I was just doing her a favor, but it’s whatever. Not a big deal.”

The freckled girl looks at her for a long moment, trying to decided whether to push again or not. She takes too long though because Sydney’s making her way back to the table and Alex quickly shovels more food into her mouth.

“Oh thank God!” Sydney sighs in relief as she drops into her chair. “I’m so hungry!”

Kelley gives Alex one last lingering look before turning to her own meal. _You’re hiding something Alex, and I need to know what it is so I can help you fix it._

 

-

 

Walking into the locker room, Tobin groans at her lingering headache. She doesn’t know why she thought drinking so much would actually be a good idea considering the team always has a regen after every game, that and she was a lightweight. Still, her head feels too big for her body, like she’s a walking bobblehead on ice. Trudging to her locker, Tobin can hear snickers from Lauren and lamely tries to swing her dufflebag at the older girl.

“After all the help I was this morning, that’s what I get?” Lauren asks, slipping into her practice shirt.

Tobin cringes when she thinks of everything that happened that morning and how she puked like three times before she started feeling better. And of course, like the good friend Lauren is, the girl held her hair each time she threw up. The thought of puke getting in her hair makes Tobin cringe; she’s thankful Lauren was there. But she’d never admit it in words.

“I feel like Amy helped more than you did.” Tobin playfully glares, setting her things down on the bench in front of their lockers. Lauren calls out to Amy defending herself, but Amy just laughs telling them that she was not going to be in the middle of yet another argument.

“This’ll be like the fifth one today.” She mutters. Lauren and Tobin laugh at their friend before going back to their things. The three fall into a comfortable silence in their little corner and it lets Tobin’s mind drift. There’s still a hollowness in the pit of her stomach that she just can’t shake but she figures it’s because it’s still so unsettled from all the puking and alcohol.

So lost in her thoughts, Tobin accidently drops something and watches as it rolls to a stop before picking it up. She tells herself to get it together and to focus but it flies out the window when she hears a familiar sound that used to give her butterflies - it still does.

Stealing a glance toward Alex’s locker, Tobin sees the girl laughing at something Kelley said. She looks away quickly, worried Alex will see her. Discretely, Tobin makes her way back to her locker and tries to refocus for the regen they’re about to have.

If this were the day before, Tobin would’ve smiled, ignoring the way it made her want to join in the conversation too. But it isn’t. And now it leaves a longing feeling in the pit of her gut.

Moments from the night before flash before Tobin’s eyes and it’s all too much. The brunette remembers kissing Alex and she remembers she doesn’t regret it. She remembers the way Alex’s body felt pressed against her and the way Alex walked away from her.

The thought leaves an unsettling feeling throughout Tobin’s chest. She doesn’t even know why Alex was so mad. All she knew was that she needed to fix things and she did. Stealing another glance at Alex, Tobin wonders how she was able to fix her problems with Christen while screwing everything up with Alex.

Tobin always has the worst luck. Just as she looks over to Alex, the girl’s eyes meet hers. The initial look of shock is replaced by this icy gaze and that’s when the reality of their situation weighs down on Tobin. _What did I do?_

Of course Tobin has her assumptions but she doesn’t let herself think about them too much. _There’s no way she could like you. She’s Alex Morgan. She was just doing you a favor, don’t get it twisted Heath._ If she lets herself think about it for even a second too long, she might actually believe it. And she knew it couldn’t be true.

With a short sigh, Tobin tells Lauren and Amy that she’s gonna head out early to grab a water. The two friends nod and watch as their slender friend leaves the locker room, taking the long way to avoid the locker of a certain blue eyed forward.

The curly haired girl looks over to Amy. Her expression is a mixture of worry and eagerness but the midfielder shakes her head, remembering the conversation they had earlier that morning.

 

_“Should we ask her? You know, about what happened last night? And about Christen and Alex?” Amy asks, rummaging through the plastic bag to make sure they had everything Tobin would need to nurse her hangover._

_Lauren sighs with a tsk. “If she doesn’t tell us on her own, she’s not gonna tell us if we ask.” Amy scratches the side of head, figuring that Lauren was right. “Let’s just give her time. If she doesn’t talk to us about it soon, then we’ll bring it up.”_

Lauren knows Tobin and she knows the girl has her limits and eventually she’ll reach hers. So she decides that they’ll wait. Tobin will open up eventually.

\--

Eventually doesn’t come. Instead, it turns into something entirely different. After a few days Lauren and Amy realize that the eventually they were counting on turned into maybe as Tobin avidly avoided anything that had to do with Alex and that night.

“Hey guys, I’m gonna head out.” Tobin says nonchalantly as she slides her backpack on.

Lauren looks at Amy before moving her eyes to Tobin. “You aren’t gonna wait for us, punk?”

“Do you even remember where Cap’s apartment is?” Amy laughs, zipping up her bag.

Tobin looks at her friends with faux confusion, the guilt peaking out from beneath her facade. “Why would I need to know?”

“Of course.” Lauren breathes, tired of Tobin’s childish behavior. Closing her locker, she looks at Tobin. “Tobin the dinner?” She asks as if she really believed the midfielder forgot. “The team dinner? You know the one you keep on skipping?” Lauren stresses.

Averting her gaze, Tobin scratches the back of her neck. “Guys, I can’t make it. I’ve gotta--”

“You’ve skipped the last two team dinners, Tob.” Amy sighs, walking up to the girl. “This is getting ridiculous. How busy can you be?” Maybe she’s pressing a little too hard, but Amy was never the type to take bullshit like this.

“Look, I’ve gotta meet some people at the library.” Tobin says, making her way to the exit.

“Tobin you can’t keep avoiding this.” Lauren’s voice is stern and unwavering. It’s enough to break Tobin’s facade and let the guilt take over. “It’s been two weeks and if you’re not going to talk to us, then at least let us help.”

Tobin knows they’re right. How couldn’t they be? They’re her best friends.

Stopping in front of the door, Tobin sighs. She knows they know something about what happened and for now that’s how it has to be. But she figures that being with her best friends is better than pretending to understand what’s going on in her philosophy course.

“We’re gonna be late to dinner if you guys keep standing there staring at me.” Tobin says without turning around. She can feel the smiles on their faces as she hears their feet rush up to her. She feels Lauren’s arm sling of her shoulders as she turns to the taller girl.

“You don’t have to do everything on your own.” Lauren says, smiling down at her. Amy lightly shoves the two and adds on, “Plus, if you’re gonna waste time ‘studying’ you might as well just hang out with us. At least that way you won’t die of boredom.”

\--

“So I told the kid to fuck off! Like, that was my omelette and I wasn’t about to let him take it!”

The entire table is in a fit of laughter as Sydney animatedly tells everyone about her morning earlier in the week at the cafe. Abby tries to tell her that if she didn’t pay for it yet she can’t call it hers but Syd just rolls her eyes.

“What about you Tobs?” Cap asks, leaning over the table a little to look at Tobin on the other end. “We haven’t heard from you in a while.” There’s no malice in her tone but it still makes Tobin feel like there was.

“Huh? Oh, uhm,” Tobin clears her throat, moving her hands to her lap. “I’ve just been trying to play catch up with a lot of my classes. Apparently I haven’t completed any of the work in any class but I’m pretty sure the professors never assigned any.” The table laughs at the girl, rolling their eyes at the story because of course Tobin would find herself in this situation.

When Cap turns her attention to Alex, the girl shrugs. She mentions how she’s been pretty swamped with school work and stuff going on at home. The girls have their questions but Alex is being discrete with her answers and it catches Tobin’s attention from down the table. She wonders what’s going on with Alex and she wants to know if maybe she could help. Maybe if she could, they’d be okay again. And if they were okay again, maybe they could see where things could g-- “I’m gonna make a call. Excuse me.”

Tobin gets up after mentioning it to her end of the table and quickly makes for the kitchen. She does her best to ignore the eyes on her back but she feels so vulnerable that her cheeks flush. Quickly, she scrolls through her phone to find someone to call. Then it hits her. The only two people she’d ever call are sitting at that table with her.

Propping herself against the sink, Tobin wants nothing more than to leave. The dinner has been everything she expected it to be and a little more. Alex was ignoring her just as much as she was avoiding her and it was eating her away.

The two weeks following the “break up” Tobin’s secluded herself. She told herself she needed time to think and understand what happened and why it happened. It took awhile but she finally realized it; she liked Alex. She _likes_ Alex. She likes her so much and she doesn’t even know how it happened. She just knows that their time together was cut short and she hates herself for somehow letting it get there.

One particularly bad night, Tobin remembers thinking of how things were with Alex and wondered if the girl was actually “acting” or if maybe she was right. That Alex did have feelings for her too. Tobin told herself to let it go but she couldn’t. She spent the rest of that night thinking of everything they could’ve been and it tore her apart.

The midfielder is still leaning against the sink when Amy and Lauren join her in the kitchen. They wear worried expression and Tobin knows what they’re thinking.

“I’m fine.” She says, turning to look at them. “But I’m gonna go.”

Lauren’s shoulders fall as she gives Tobin this look and it’s a look she so desperately tries to avoid.

“Don’t.” Tobin says, taking a step back from Lauren. Recognition comes over Lauren as she realizes the look of pity she was giving her friend.

“Tobin you can’t just leave.” The curly haired girl sighs, resting a hand on the kitchen counter.

Amy seconds her, of course. “Yeah, Tobs, dinner isn’t even done yet.”

There’s a pleading look in her friends eyes and she knows this dinner means a lot to them, so she bargains. “I’ll stay,” She starts, “But I’m leaving after everyone’s done eating, deal?”

Amy opens her mouth like she’s about to protest but Lauren is the one who gives her the green light. “Deal.”

Tobin sighs, mentally preparing herself for another round of dinner.

\--

Kelley eyes the trio as they take their seats again. No one seems to pay them too much attention but Kelley knows something is up. She’s known something has been up since that party, and she’s tired of being left out--and that Alex is secretly sulking.

The freckled girl knows that whatever is going on has to do with Tobin, Alex, and Tobin’s ex. It’s a peculiar bunch, but she knows what she remembers. She remembers seeing Alex running over to Tobin after that one forward from Stanford’s team was trying to dance with the midfielder. She also remembers seeing Alex very angry, and that was what struck Kelley as odd.

“So,” the defender starts when there’s a lull in conversation. Between the sounds of forks scraping against plates and food, her teammates look up. She decides to take a risk. “I don’t think any other party this semester can live up to that one after the Stanford game. That was one hell of a party, right?”

There’s a mixture of voices agreeing with her, but the most prominent one is Sydney’s. The forward launches into an animated rant about just how fun the party was. Most of the girls are laughing, amused by Sydney’s actions because they all know the girl was completely gone that night.

“Honestly I couldn’t feel my feet!” Sydney exclaims, laughing.

“I’m pretty sure you couldn’t feel a lot of things,” Kristie points out, causing the table to erupt in laughter.

As Sydney continues to babble on, Kelley’s eyes study each of her teammates. For the most part, they’re absorbed in Sydney’s story, laughing at the ridiculousness of their teammate. When her eyes land on Tobin, she notices right away that the midfielder isn’t even listening. Her eyes are focused on the food on her plate, and that’s really it. Kelley then turns to look at Alex, and the girls’ playing with a strand of her hair, pretending like doesn’t hear Sydney or any of her teammates. They’re both evidently avoiding the conversation, and the freckled girl decides to push on.

“Did you guys know some of the Stanford players were at the party too?” she asks casually once Sydney finishes her nonsense rant.

“What?”

“No way!”

“Are you serious?”

“Trying to drown out their sorrows from their loss!” Abby yells, making Kelley chuckle a little.

However, the small girl keeps her focus on Tobin and then Alex to gauge their reactions. Alex’s eyes are suddenly so focused on her fork that Kelley thinks she might break it if the forward looks hard enough. Tobin, on the other hand, has visibly tensed and her jaw is tighter than Kelley remembers it being two seconds ago.

“That game was crazy!” someone exclaims. Kelley can’t tell who, but then again there are like five girls talking at the same time so she can’t really be blamed for that.

“Half those calls were complete bullshit!”

“Like whey they called me for that foul!” Pinoe jumps in, her voice carrying over the table clearly. “That was all ball! I honestly didn’t even touch her!”

“They were totally diving half the time!”

“Also that girl pushed _me_ , I was just going for the ball!”

“This one girl elbowed me in the ribs like five times!”

As the team begins to recall the match vividly, screaming over each other about fouls that weren’t called, fouls that should have been called and the simple idiocy of their referees of the match, Kelley decides to focus on Tobin, who seems to grow more tense with each passing moment.

“But that number...23 - I think - was really good. You know, the tall forward?” she asks, looking around at her teammates to play off her questions as if she had no clue who she was. “like, wow, you’ve got to give her credit.”

“Credit for what? She couldn't even score,” Alex mutters with a roll of her eyes. _Good one Alex_ , she mentally pats herself on the back for the comment.

Unfortunately for her, Kelley hears it and it only eggs her friend on with her investigation. “She was at the party,” she adds, taking a sip of her water.

“Really?”

“No way, I didn’t see her.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“I’m being serious!” The defender nods, a laugh forming in her throat. “Rumor has it she’s little ol’ Tobin’s ex.” She throws it out as a joke, deciding to take another risk because why the hell not? If Alex won’t tell her, she has to find out what happened that night _somehow_.

At the mention of it, Alex’s natural instinct is to flare up with anger. She opens her mouth, ready with a snarky comment about Christen, but Lauren’s voice across the table stops her before she can get anything out.

“Yeah well, there are a lot of rumors that float around on this team.”

Lauren isn’t looking directly at her, but her even look is enough to keep Alex’s mouth shut about the subject. The mood of the table has suddenly shifted to their usual, noisy lightness to a heavy and tense setting. Most of the girls continue to eat their food in silence, trying not to make anything worse by opening their mouths.

 _Of course!_ Kelley scolds herself for not realizing it earlier. Who would know what’s going on better than Tobin’s two best friends? She should’ve asked Lauren days ago what was going on because evidently the topic of Christen and Tobin was way off limits. She opens her mouth to say something else - mainly to get Lauren to say something - but she’s cut off by the sound of a phone ringing.

Tobin pulls her phone out of her pocket, wondering who could be calling her at this time. She checks the caller ID, recognizing that it’s her sister and maybe she should answer because her sister might actually have something important to talk about. So she looks up from the table, giving her teammates - specifically Lauren and Amy - an apologetic look.

“Sorry guys I have to go,” she says uncomfortably, standing from her seat. “Thanks for dinner, Cap. See you guys at practice tomorrow.”

When she’s out the door, it’s Sydney who speaks what’s on everyone’s mind.

“What the hell just happened?”

It takes a few minutes, but they manage to redirect the conversation to something completely unrelated to the events that just occurred. Kelley makes a mental note to catch up with Lauren and later and figure out what she knows. Meanwhile, Alex takes another spoonful meal in silence next to the defender. She’s no longer hungry nor is she in the mood to talk to anyone about anything. All she wants right now is to take a few really hard shots on goal and then curl up into her bed and sleep and not think about Tobin or Christen or Tobin with Christen.

Once dessert is served, Alex knows very well that if she tries to have some, she’ll most likely throw up because she hasn’t touched her food since Kelley opened her mouth about Christen. She knows what Kelley was trying to do and she didn’t appreciate it at all. There’s no point in talking about it anymore anyway. What’s done is done and Alex was tired of watching Tobin walk back every time. But it doesn’t change the fact she misses having the older girl around. She misses Tobin’s stupid jokes and bright smile. She misses the way Tobin would find the light in any situation. She misses the stupid way Tobin’s face would make that stupid expression any time Alex did anything to her. She misses the Tobin she knew for those few days and she doesn’t want to.

“I think I’m going to head out,” she says, looking at her captain with a small smile. “I think my stomach’s trying to tell me I’ve had enough of this goodness.”

Kelley’s eyeing her carefully as everyone bids her goodbye, knowing that Alex is sulking even more now. She glances at Lauren, who’s looking at Alex as if she was trying to study her behavior. It was as if the curly-haired midfielder knew something Kelley didn’t. And she damn well deserved to find out.

\--

“Hey.”

Lauren jumps a little, almost bumping into Amy. “Kelley! Don’t scare me like that.”

The smaller girl laughs, falling into step with her two teammates. “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.”

“What’s up Kel?” Amy asks, greeting her with a smile.

The three are walking back to their dorm building after dinner at Cap’s apartment ended. Kelley’s been so anxious on getting the answers she’s been needing that it’s a miracle she didn’t ask Lauren then and there over dessert what the hell happened to Tobin and Alex.

“I need to fix my best friend,” she says bluntly, crossing her arms. “Something’s wrong with her and she won’t tell me.”

Lauren eyes her carefully, trying to figure out what Kelley could even assume is wrong with Alex. “What’s wrong with her, Kelley?”

“Well, since the party she’s been different,” the defender explains, shaking her head. “She’s been off her game, and she’s never _really_ happy anymore. She’ll laugh and smile and joke around, but sometimes she’ll slip and just space out, which is definitely not her. Something’s bugging her and I want to know what.”

At this, Amy and Lauren exchange a cautious glance before the blonde asks, “Why do you think _we_ can help you?”

Kelley looks around to make sure none of their other teammates are around before lowering her voice as she leans in closer to them. “I wasn’t that far gone the night of the party, you know. I saw the exchange between Alex and that girl.” When Lauren looks at her slightly surprised, she adds on, “I pointed it out to Alex while we were at the bar that there was a girl talking to Tobin and it was possibly her ex. She got really pissed and then stormed over. I know she pulled Tobin away from her, and I know her and the girl said a few things. I also know Alex walked away looking upset after the whole ordeal and Tobin followed her.”

Somehow they’ve ended up walking up the stairs of their dorm building, and now Lauren’s leading them to her room as Kelley finishes her explanation. Neither Lauren or Amy say a word in response as they walk into the room, Amy plopping on the couch and Lauren closing the door behind Kelley.

“So can someone please tell me what this is about?” Kelley begs, looking between the two of them. “I know you guys have to know _something_.”

Amy sighs, knowing she might as well tell the girl. “For starters, yes that was Tobin’s ex. Her name’s Christen.”

The defender gives a nod of approval. “I didn’t know Tobin had game like that.”

Lauren scoffs and rolls her eyes at the remark. “She’s a devil, don’t get too excited.”

“But I still don’t understand why Alex got so mad and decided to interfere,” the freckled girl says, frowning. “I didn’t even know they were friends until like a few days before the whole thing.”

“Did Alex tell you anything when you asked her?”

“All she said was that it was no big deal and that it was ‘just a favor.’ What does that mean?” she asks, looking at Amy inquisitively.

“Well, it kind of _was_ a favor,” Amy starts, looking at Lauren before fixing her gaze on Kelley again. “Alex was pretending to be Tobin’s girlfriend. It started a few days before the game in the cafe before our team lunch, and it kind of just become a thing from there.”

Kelley bites her bottom lip, chewing on it pensively as she takes in the new information. “Then why was she so mad? I mean, yeah she has a few drinks, but she seemed furious.”

“Look we don’t know much about this either,” Lauren admits with a sigh. “We stepped in when Alex and Christen were getting a little too intense with each other, but we don’t know what happened when Tobin followed Alex out of the party.”

“Is that why Tobin’s been avoiding anything involving the team lately?”

The taller girl nods. “She won’t tell us what’s going on either.”

“God!” Kelley groans, flopping onto the bed closest to her. “Why are they so difficult?!”

-

“Ladies, what was that!” Coach Ellis is fuming as Alex finds herself a step behind Tobin’s cross, again.

A week has passed since the team dinner and the only thing Kelley has been able to figure out is that Alex is much better at hiding her feelings than Tobin is. The midfielder isn’t exactly discreet about the way she beelines out of a room just as Alex enters it. Alex, on the other hand, is laughing and joking around like nothings even happened. Even those rare moments where she’d slip were becoming an occasion. If Kelley didn’t know better, she’d assume that Alex was fine, but she dpes know better. She also knows her best friend well enough to notice the small moments when her shoulders relax after Tobin leaves a room or how her laugh would become slightly obnoxious when Tobin would walk by. Alex wasn’t okay in the slightest, but she was doing better than Tobin to hide it, that’s for sure

With the rate things were moving nothing was going to be done about the two until Tobin graduates. It left Kelley, Lauren, and Amy scrambling to try and come up with a way to get their two friends to talk.

_“What if we just lock them in the storage closet! They’ll have to talk if they’re in there!”_

__

_“There aren’t lights in there and Tobin doesn’t do the dark.”_

__

_“Plus, Kelley, isn’t Alex claustrophobic?!”_

__

_“Okay, the room isn’t that small! And--And they can use their phones as flashlig--”_

__

_“Kelley!”_

__

_“Damnit.”_

Things were getting so childish that Kelley, Lauren and Amy weren’t the only ones to notice something off. Coach Ellis picked up on their strange behavior at the same time the rest of the team did.

More often than not, Alex will find herself calling for the ball too soon or too late and often loses possession with just one touch. It’s just not working,nothing is clicking for the two and it’s throwing the team off the rhythm they’ve had. So she decides it’s time for a little team bonding.

“Bring it in ladies!” she calls out before watching the girls collect the balls and cones from the last drill they just completed. Once they’ve all jogged towards her, forming a semicircle, she continues. “There are a few things we still need to work on when we’re playing,” the soccer coach begins, crossing her arms and watching all her girls carefully, her gaze lingering on Alex and Tobin for a few beats too many. “but more importantly, I think we need to be sharper as a group. Some of us more than others.”

Lauren exchanges a glance with Amy before they both side-eye Tobin, who shifts uncomfortably. On the other side of the semicircle, Alex’s jaw tightens slightly as her eyes focus on her coach and nothing else.

_This can’t be good._

“We’re taking a weekend trip to Santa Monica for some team bonding!” Coach Ellis claps her hands together, watching her girls get excited at the idea of being at the beach for the weekend.

Once the team settles down, she goes on with her explanation. “We’ll be borrowing a beach house from a good friend of mine. Four girls in each room, and every day we will participate in team, group and partner activities to grow closer and get that chemistry back on the field.”

At this, Lauren’s eyes lock with Kelley’s within a second, both already knowing what they have in mind. There’s a slight smirk on the small defenders lips, plans already formulating in her head. If Alex and Tobin don’t want to talk to each other, then they leave no other choice. It’s time for their friends to get involved.


	4. Part Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you're all very lovely! Thanks for being patient with us, let us know what you think :)

All Alex wants is to not be roomed with Tobin. She’s hoping that someone can hear her silent plea and somehow let her coach know that whatever happens, Alex cannot be in the same room as Tobin. The forward’s well aware of why they’re going on this trip. She knows it’s because her and Tobin haven’t been the same since that night of the party. Honestly, she just wants to get through this weekend quickly and then go back to her normal routine, so she’ll fake it if she has to.

“Tell me someone brought drinks,” Sydney mutters under her breath as she tugs out her earphones and stretches once the bus comes to a complete stop.

Alex laughs softly, looking outside to see the big beach house waiting for them. “I’m surprised it wasn’t you.”

“I can’t be the one to do it _all_ the time,” the younger forward explains a bit too dramatically as they both stand up and file out of the bus with the rest of their teammates. “We have to take turns.”

“Right,” the blue-eyed girl nods, smiling because the whole conversation is amusing. “I’m sure someone did. You know how much we all love to have fun.”

Sydney thinks about it for a moment and then nods. “You’re right!” she claps her hands together excitedly. “We just have to get Ellis out of the way.”

“We’ll find a way,” Kristie says from behind them. “We always do.”

The three of them share a laugh as they step off the bus, breathing in the ocean scent. Alex closes her eyes for a moment as the rest of the team scatters around her. She thinks, maybe if she sticks around her friends for the weekend, she’ll be just fine.

“Am I allowed to go surfing?” Tobin asks, still inside the bus with Lauren and Amy. It’s a serious question so she pouts a little when Lauren gives her an amused expression in response.

“Maybe,” Amy shrugs, pulling on her sunglasses. “You never know.”

“More importantly,” Lauren interrupts. “Will our rooms have two or four beds because I know for a fact I’m not sharing a bed.”

The statement causes Tobin and Amy to roll their eyes, not surprised at all by the question. The blonde forward shakes her head and mutters something along the lines of “so high maintenance” under her breath. Tobin laughs as she catches it, but then stops at the sight of Lauren’s death glare.

“I hate you two.”

“You won’t for long, it’s team bonding!” Amy reminds her, nudging the older girl’s shoulder.

Once everyone’s off the bus and gathered around the bus, Coach Ellis holds up her clipboard and addresses them all at once. “Girls! Okay, since it’s late afternoon, we can just relax a little bit and then have a team dinner at six.” She glances down at her clipboard, reading over their agenda. “We’ll wake up tomorrow at eight for breakfast and then launch into our bonding exercises.” That comment alone receives collective groans, but all she can do is chuckle softly at the young girls. “Now! Room assignments.” She looks down once again at her clipboard once the girls grow silent and begins to read the names off.

“Abby, Kristie, Pinoe and Cap are together...”

Alex listens attentively to every name being called, listening for hers or Tobin’s. She’s biting her lip and praying that by some miracle, they’re in different rooms but if Coach knows how to play her cards right, she’ll have them together.

“Sydney, Alex, HAO and Lauren; and then Tobin, Kelley, Amy and Hope are the last group.”

The forward lets out silent sigh of relief and sends a thank you up to whoever’s watching over her. Alex feels so much more at ease knowing she won’t have to sleep in a room with Tobin for the next few nights. Then again, Lauren’s in her room, and Lauren knows a little of what’s going on - or maybe she knows it all. The girl starts to worry again, but when Lauren sends her a small smile her thoughts relax again.

_How bad can this really be?_

 

It’s not until everyone’s starting to push and run their way into the beach house and try to claim rooms that Lauren pulls Amy and Kelley aside.

“Okay, how are we going to do this?” she demands, crossing her arms as she looks from Amy to Kelley.

“They need to be put together,” Kelley explains. “but they’re not even roommates so we’ll have to help them out a little bit.”

Lauren nods in approval as they all fall into a short silence contemplating the options they had. “We can tell Ellis to put them together for partners.”

“No,” Amy shakes her head immediately. “They won’t want to talk to each other. They aren’t going to have this whole conversation around the team.”

“She’s right,” the defender nods, licking her lips as she thinks of another idea. “Wait, what if we try telling them to meet us somewhere, either in between team bonding activities or after dinner or something. We don’t show up, and they’re left with each other and there’s no choice but to talk!”

“You sure that’ll work?” Amy asks, skeptical.

“It’s better than nothing,” Kelley points out.

The blonde hums fixing her hair up into a bun as she thinks on it for a moment. “Wait,” she says as she finishes tying off her hair. “What if we try to talk to them one-on-one first. Kel, you can try talking to Tobin and Chen you try talking to Alex.”

Lauren and Kelley exchange a look before the taller one says, “but we don’t know them as well.”

“Exactly. Maybe if you hint the other one’s just as miserable, they’ll be inclined to talk to each other more. Once that’s set up, we can do what Kelley’s talking about.” Amy suggests, knowing she made a very good point.

They all look at each other for a minute before the tallest one claps. “Well, let’s get to it!”

-

After dinner, Tobin decides to take nice stroll along the shoreline. The sun is almost completely gone, but Tobin loves the way the water looks at night when the stars shine anyway. Her teammates are back at the beach house and although their company is nice, it feels good to be alone with herself for awhile. Lately, she’s settled for the company of Lauren and Amy because when she’s left alone, Tobin often thinks about Alex. It’s been weeks and Tobin still doesn’t understand her at all. There’s something that makes Tobin want to grow some confidence and walk right over to her and demand they talk it out, but something stops her every time.

There’s no doubting it anymore. She feels things for Alex that she probably shouldn’t feel. Tobin couldn’t have seen it coming even if she tried. She misses the way Alex used to flaunt herself in front of Tobin when Christen was around. Her hands miss Alex’s and they way they fit so perfectly together. She misses all the crazy things Alex used to do. But what part of it was real? There surely had to be _something_ real there. It was all too much to not be at least a little real. But Alex hasn’t even done so much as glance in her direction in weeks. Alex Morgan is an enigma Tobin can’t figure out.

“The beach definitely sounds better without all those damn birds screeching.”

Tobin turns around, surprised to find a small figure a few feet away from her. Once she gets closer, Tobin can make out Kelley’s facial features in the descending light.

“Definitely,” she nods, letting Kelley fall into step with her.

They don’t really talk much at all, but Kelley’s antics have always amused Tobin since they stepped onto this team together their freshman year. So they walk in silence for a few minutes, both enjoying the scene around them. Initially, Tobin feels cautious because Kelley’s one of Alex’s closest friends, but then she figures if it was bad enough, Kelley wouldn’t even try to talk to her. So they continue to walk.

“I’m sorry about the whole conversation at dinner the other night,” Kelley suddenly blurts out. She figures she might as well start with an apology while she’s here.

Tobin blinks at her, confused on what she’s talking about, but when it comes back to her, the midfielder’s shoulder slightly drop. “Oh,” she says, looking away. “Don’t worry about it. It’s in the past.”

“Right,” Kelley nods. “It’s just...I didn’t know you and her…” she trails off, knowing Tobin’s uncomfortable with the subject.

The midfielder cringes slightly at the mention of Christen. “Yeah,” she nods, her voice softer than before. “But, it’s over so you live and learn I guess?”

“Mhmm,” the shorter girl hums, letting the silence settle between them for only a moment before adding, “I’ve just never seen Alex act like that before.”

Kelley knows she’s getting somewhere now because the midfielder looks at her with curiosity as she asks, “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know,” she tries to hide her smile, reminding herself that she had a purpose and had to carry this out effectively. “She was just so…” she chews her bottom lip, trying to find the right word.

“Protective?” Tobin guesses.

The defender nods, but she’s still chewing her lip. “Yeah, and I don’t know. I’ve never seen her take such an immediate disliking to a person,” she concludes, still unsure if those words could accurately describe Alex’s feelings toward the Stanford player. “I mean, I know it was just pretend, but it looked very real. Honestly, if I didn’t know you two, I’d assume Alex was the jealous girlfriend.”

Tobin looks at her for a long moment, trying to figure out what it all means. She’s trying to understand how she’s ended up talking to Kelley of all people about this and how she still wants to know more about Alex. “Has she said anything about it?”

Kelley lets out a long, defeated sigh. Her gaze drops to the sand beneath them as she answers, “No. She won’t talk about it. She’s been different, though.”

“Different how?” Tobin asks before she can really stop herself.

“Just different,” the freckled girl shrugs. “Alex hasn’t been herself lately. She’s been way too weird. It’s like, she’s herself, but not really.”

“Huh?”

Kelley chews on her bottom lip, trying to figure out the right words to describe Alex. “I mean, to anyone else, she seems fine, but if you spend as much time with her as I do you can tell she’s off. When she’s not around people she seems pissed off. Or maybe she’s just sad. I can’t really tell. Alex doesn’t really like showing _those_ kinds of emotions.”

The midfielder nods, taking all the information in slowly. As she processes the information, the more she wants to believe that what she’s hoped for is actually right. Alex has to be feeling something on her hand. There’s no way she couldn’t. Not when Kelley’s telling her this.

“Is she okay?” she asks.

“She’s faking it till she makes it.”

It’s the most honest answer that Kelley’s given all night, and the look on Tobin’s face shows that Kelley’s done enough on her part.

 

-

“Ugh!” Alex groans, flopping back onto her bed. Her head sinks back into her pillow and she contemplates falling asleep again because 7:30 is too early to be up on a weekend without actual games.

She hears a laugh on the other side of the room and immediately identifies it as Lauren. “What’s wrong, superstar?”

The forward tries to respond, but is only met with cloth in her mouth and muffled noises. She figures Lauren’s a smart girl and she doesn’t have to repeat herself.

“Sorry, I can’t hear you over the pillow,” the midfielder teases lightly.

“I said,” Alex starts again, turning onto her side and squinting at Lauren from her bed. “Why does everyone need to use the god damned bathroom at the same time? I just wanted to wash my face before breakfast!”

The older girl laughs, white teeth almost blinding Alex. “Well aren’t you just living the eternal struggle.”

“Basically,” she huffs in response.

They settle back into a comfortable silence for a few minutes. Alex’s eyes flutter shut, and she knows she’s in a losing battle with sleep because the pillows and the sheets just feel too good to not fall asleep again. Lauren’s scrolling through her phone before she realizes this is her perfect opportunity to talk to Alex while the other two are away.

“Hey Al, are you okay?” she starts off, looking over at the younger girl.

Alex blinks a few times in attempts to wake herself up. “Huh?” She rubs her eyes, trying to look at Lauren clearly. “Uh yeah Chen, I’m good. Just tired.”

“No, I mean like, after everything that happened.”

It’s enough to get Alex to sit up properly and blink her eyes a few more times. “What are you talking about?”

“The party,” the curly-haired midfielder reminds her. “You walked out looking upset and you didn’t come back.”

“Oh,” she says dumbly. “That.” Alex fiddles with a few strands of hair for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to answer the question.

“Yeah, that.”

“I’m fine,” she brushes off immediately. “I was just drunk. That’s all.”

Lauren nods slowly, but she knows Alex is trying to end the conversation. “You know, I still think Christen is the biggest bitch out there.”

“Really?” Alex’s eyebrow quirks up.

“Yeah girl,” the midfielder nods, tossing her phone onto her bed. “She’s the worst. I hated how she treated Tobin. She knows I don’t like her too,” she shrugs, crossing her arms. “I think she’s kind of scared of me.”

Alex laughs, nodding as she recalls Christen’s face when Lauren showed up on the dance floor. “I’m not surprised by that at all.”

Lauren grins. “At least she knows her place with me.” She then sighs, shaking her head. “She’s trouble. Don’t let her play with your mind.”

“Why would you think she would?” the younger girl asks, furrowing her eyebrows. “It’s not like I was actually Tobin’s girlfriend.” She sounds almost defensive and she knows it’s bad, but she can’t help it. She wasn’t Tobin girlfriend; it was just a favor - no matter how much she misses Tobin’s touch.

“I mean Christen tries to do that with everyone,” Lauren says, trying to ease back up. She can see now that if she pushes too quickly Alex might just storm out of the room. “I think it really fired her up to see Tobin had a new ‘girlfriend’ who actually cares about her.”

Alex looks away, the subject becoming a little too real for her. “Does it really matter anymore? I’m sure they’re talking on a daily basis now.”

Lauren gives her a strange look. “I don’t know about that.”

“What?” She tries not to sound too surprised and happy about that statement.

The midfielder’s lips turn into a frown. “Tobin’s just been in her own world for weeks. She’s being weird. It’s like she’s upset but even she doesn’t completely understand why.”

Alex opens her mouth, another question about Tobin ready when HAO bursts through the door with a towel wrapped around her body.

“Good morning my lovely teammates!” she says, shutting the door closed behind her.

Lauren and Alex exchange one more glance before they reply to HAO’s bright greeting. Alex’s thoughts are flying so fast she forgets that she wants to wash her face before breakfast.

 

-

Coach Ellis watches as her players get set up. Once breakfast was over, she had split them up into pairs and handed each set of bruins a blindfold. “One of you will be blindfolded, the other will hop onto their back and direct them to the end of the obstacle course,” she explained, showing them what she had somehow managed to set up in half an hour.

“Tobin I swear to God if you let me run into something you’ll never hear the end of it!” Kristie threatens, feeling the blindfold over her eyes.

The midfielder laughs, hopping onto her back. “Don’t worry Mewie, we’ll be fine.”

“Abby don’t drop me!” Amy yells, clinging on to the much taller forward for dear life.

“Don’t you dare fall over Alex,” Pinoe warns, resting her chin comfortably on the young striker’s shoulder. “We’re in it to win it baby horse!”

Their coach laughs at all of them before blowing her whistle to their attention. “Is everyone set?” Once she hears the chorus of agreements, she grins. “On your mark, get set, go!”

Tobin laughs as Kristie attempts to run around in the sand, directing the blonde around the obstacles. She hasn’t felt this free in awhile.

Five minutes later, half of the girls have collapsed in the sand, in fits of giggles and screams at the end of the course with blindfolds scattered around the sand. HAO’s wildly yelling at Abby because she claims the forward purposefully knocked her over when she had the lead. Tobin’s honestly getting the most of out it because she’s propped up in the sand, watching the two go back and forth.

“I have sand everywhere!” Amy whines, somehow ending up sitting next to Tobin.

The midfielder laughs, rolling her eyes. “Of course there is Amy. We’re on a beach, obviously.”

The blonde pouts, giving her friend a gentle nudge “Thank you, Captain Obvious.”

“You’re welcome!” Tobin grins, flashing her a smile and a thumbs up.

This can’t Amy can’t help but laugh. She smiles because she loves seeing Tobin’s real smile, and she misses seeing it as often as she used to. “Hey, after dinner me and Cheney are thinking about hanging out at those rocks along the water we found yesterday,” she says. “Wanna come with us?”

The younger one nods, grin never faltering. “Sure, I’m down.”

“Great!” she claps her hands together. “Now I’m going to try to get all of this sand off of me.” Amy stands up and wipes off the specs of sand that have clustered onto her skin. When she looks up, she sees Lauren looking at her. With a subtle nod, they look at Kelley. The defender flashes them a thumbs up.

They won’t be showing up tonight.

-

“We’ll meet you there Tobs!”

After talking to Lauren shortly after dinner, Tobin had decided to go ahead and make her way to the rocky shoreline they’d found. She’s feeling a little lighter after today, and she knows it’s good to feel that way. The only thing that brings her down the one thing she can’t get her mind off of. Accidental glances in Alex’s direction were enough to make Tobin feel guilty once again. She doesn’t even know why she feels the guilt. She just does, and she hates how those blue eyes look so cold and detached when they come across Tobin.

 _It doesn’t matter now, Tobin. She wants nothing to do with you,_ she reminds herself as she nears the rocks. She wonders how in a span of days Alex went to just a simple teammate, to her fake girlfriend, to a real friend, to who knows what the hell that night at the party was. If Tobin closes her eyes, she can still see that one look Alex used to give her that drove the midfielder insane. She misses Alex.

What also bothers her is the conversation she had with Kelley the previous night. What was getting under Alex’s skin? There’s no way it could be what Tobin so desperately hopes for, right?

 _Just get through this weekend,_ Tobin. _You have Lauren and Amy. That’s all you need._

Alex hopes there will be drinks. Kelley suggested they head out to the rocks, hang out with Syd and Kristie for a little bit before heading in for bed. Except Alex couldn’t find anyone of the girls after dinner. She’d managed to catch Kelley who was jumping around and gave her a quick “be right there!” and disappeared somewhere in the house.

The girl shakes her head, wondering what Kelley could possibly be up to right now. So far the weekend’s been good to her. Yet being alone can only push it off for so long. There’s a slight breeze on the beach, causing Alex to bring her arms around herself. It’s then she misses the way Tobin’s touch would leave her wanting more. She also misses the way she felt warm around Tobin always, like there was a sense of comfort in the older girl.

“ _It’s like she’s upset but even she doesn’t completely understand why._ ”

Lauren’s words from this morning play in her mind once again. To Alex, it seems like Tobin is doing everything to avoid her. She’s never at team lunch or dinner or anything else. That one dinner where Tobin abruptly left was the first Alex had seen her off the field. Why was everything such a jumbled mess?

_It started out with a favor, just a stupid favor._

She’s so lost in her own thoughts that she doesn’t even realize that she’s already at the rocks.

“Alex?”

The voice makes the forward freeze right where she is. The innocent, questioning tone is enough to make Alex’s body begin to panic. Alex looks up from the sand and there she is, sitting on a rock looking back at her. _Why is she here?_

Tobin’s eyes are wide and she’s surprised to say the least. The rocks are a bit of a ways away from the beach house so there’s not much of a chance Alex just happened to be passing by. Her thoughts are beginning to fly and her ability to speak is going out the window. It seems to happen a lot when she’s caught off guard by girls she likes.

“Tobin?” her eyebrows furrow and she crosses her arms. “What are you doing here?”

“I…” Her words are suddenly stuck in her throat and she can’t seem to get them out. Tobin’s staring dumbly at Alex, who’s expecting an answer. “Lauren and Amy,” she finally says after too long of a silence. When Alex gives her a confused look, she forces herself to continue. “They wanted to hang out and told me to meet them here.”

“What?” Alex asks in confusion. “I’m supposed to meet Kelley, Syd and Mewie here,” she explains. “They didn’t tell me…” Suddenly she trails off, meeting Tobin’s wide brown eyes.

It’s as if they both come to the realization at the exact same moment. Tobin’s eyes are wide and she bites her lip, unsure of how Alex will react. The midfielder knows this is her chance pushed on by her friends to talk to Alex and figure out what the hell is going on. She’s been confused the whole way through when it comes to Alex and the midfielder is just so tired of being lost. It’s time she gets some answers.

“Look Alex,” she says gently, swinging her legs over the rocks. “Can I just--”

“No.” The forward’s quick to shake her head. It’s all becoming too much for her. She hasn’t said a word to Tobin in weeks and Alex can tell the girl’s ready to talk. “We can’t.” It scares her.

“Just listen to me for a second.”

Tobin jumps off the rocks, landing smoothly onto the sand.  She’s standing a few feet in front of Alex, and she can’t remember the last time they’ve been so close. It’s enough to make her head spin, but she tries to stay focused.

“Maybe if we could just talk for a second, we could fix things and--”

“No! I -- can you just stop?” the younger girl asks rather harshly, glaring at her.

“Why? What did I do?” Tobin asks, almost pleading with the girl in front of her. The only thing Tobin wants from Alex is an explanation and the girl keeps denying her of it. “Please.”

Alex shakes her head. “I need space,” she says in a softer tone than she used before, slowly backing away from Tobin.

“Space?” the older girl repeats, staring at Alex with an incredulous look. “It’s been weeks Alex. How much more space do you need? What did I even do?”

“I can’t do this right now,” the forward shakes her head again. “No. I just need space.”

This time when she tries walking away Tobin lets her, watching her with a helpless expression.

-

Storming back into the house, Alex doesn’t even brush off all the sand on her legs. _How does she think that’s okay? You can’t just come at me like tha--and then be so--no. No not cool._

Being so caught up in her thoughts, she doesn’t even realize she’s being stared at by, like, the entire living room. Her eyes meet Kelley’s first and she feels her jaw tighten, remembering the little stunt she pulled. All too quickly though, her attention moves to Sydney whose eyes are as wide as saucers. The girls stare at Alex for a second more before they all let out a breath of relief.

“Fuck, Alex!” Syd exclaims, getting up from her spot on the floor. “We thought you were coach!” She grabs the forward by the wrist and pulls her from the backdoor to rest of the girls, handing her a red cup of whatever they were drinking.

“Where'd you find the alcohol?” Alex asks, recognizing the taste of coconut vodka. Syd just laughs, looking around the room as she asks Alex if she knew her.

“I have my ways.” She says with a wiggle of her eyebrows. “Now, c’mon we’re playing never have I ever.”

Out of all the nights, Alex has never been more grateful for Sydney’s love of a good time. Some alcohol and idiots is just what she needs.

From across the room, Kelley glances over at Lauren and Amy before quickly shooting the curly haired girl a text.

_**Kelley: Where’s Tobin?** _

Lauren’s response wasn’t much help.

**_Lauren: Kelley, Amy and I have been here the entire night. How would we know? She’s probably still by the rocks._ **

Kelley grumbles to herself about Lauren being right before she gets another message.

_**Lauren: I’m gonna text her. If she doesn’t reply Amy and I are gonna go find her.** _

_**Kelley: I don’t think things went well.** _

_**Lauren: What makes you say that?** _

Lauren looks up from her text after sending it and waits for Kelley. The midfielder didn’t need a response when Kelley looks at her and nods over at Alex. The two girls watch as the young forward chugs down the rest of her drink, slamming the cup down as Syd pours her more. The girls are laughing at one another as they continue to play their game but Kelley, Lauren, and Amy can’t help but stare with wide eyes.

Kelley feels a sudden urgency when she realizes things probably didn’t go as well as they’d planned.

_**Kelley: Has Tobin replied yet?????** _

She may not know Tobin, but the girl was alone at the beach in the middle of the night, anyone would be scared. The few moments it takes for Lauren to reply are too suspenseful for Kelley that she just watches Lauren type away.

_**Lauren: She hasn’t. Tobin’s not going to do anything stupid so stop looking at me like that. Ams and I are going to go find her.** _

Kelley wants to protest about how it was half of her idea to get them out there but she doesn’t have enough time to type up a reply or get up before she sees something through the back windows.

**_Kelley: Behind you._ **

Lauren and Amy turn around to see Tobin brushing sand of her knees on the porch, breathing in relief. She’s okay and that’s all the three needed to know. The relief is short lived after they see the tired look on the her face.

_**Lauren: When she comes in let her do what she wants and just leave her alone.** _

Lauren warns, shooting Kelley a knowing look as the girl reads her reply.

Then, just like that, the back door opens again and all eyes are on Tobin. Well, all eyes except for a certain forward’s.

Jumping up from her spot on the carpet, Pinoe calls Tobin over with a raise of her cup. “Toby! Get over here!” Unconsciously, both Tobin and Alex cringe at the nickname, ignoring the rise in their stomachs.

“C’mon, Tobin!” Abby calls out, “Just one game and you can leave after!”

The brunette opens her mouth to protest but soon Abby has some of the girls chanting “team bonding” that Tobin just shakes her head. She lets out a soft laugh of disbelief and heads over, sitting next to Pinoe.

A few bodies down from the short haired midfielder, Alex does her best to ignore the way her heart pounds at the sight of the brown eyed girl. The last time the two were together and alcohol was involved it didn’t end well, even though it was one hell of a night. She tells herself to ignore Tobin and to enjoy the last night they have at the beach house. _Easier said than done._

Lauren, Amy, and Kelley share a worried look before the freckled girl gets a text telling her that they need to join the game as “damage control”. Soon enough, the entire team is playing.

Syd starts with, “Never have I ever wanted to fuck my professor!”

“Syd!” Kristie’s laughing as she swats at her best friend’s shoulder, lowering one of her five fingers.

Sydney just laughs along with the entire team,smirking at the blonde. “Drink up, freak.” The girls are still laughing as Kristie takes a drink by herself.

“There’s a reason rate-my-professor gave him a hotness pepper rating. Just saying.” The blonde states, figuring that was explanation enough.

“You’re disgusting.” Syd says through her shit-eating grin.

The next few question don’t come close to comparing with Syd’s but they’re amusing enough to make Tobin and Alex forget about some of the things on their mind. Like when someone says they’ve never been naked in public and Pinoe begrudgingly lowers a finger at the same time Abby does, or when Hope nonchalantly lowers a finger when someone says they’ve never fooled around in the locker rooms when other people were still inside. Even Tobin gets in on the fun when Pinoe says, “Never have I ever been hit on by different people at once.”

The team is laughing in disbelief as Abby gapes at Tobin. “No fucking way!”

“Abby, I wouldn't believe it either if I hadn’t of been there.” Lauren laughs, looking over at Tobin with a smirk. With a shrug Tobin answers as if it wasn’t a big deal.

“I thought they were all friends. Guess not.”

The teams is so riled up by the statement that they keep hounding Tobin about it but to a certain extent they all know they won’t get much else out of Tobin. Even Alex finds herself smirking at how stupid and so Tobin like it was for her to assume that the girls who were talking to her were all friends. The moment is short lived but it’s enough for Kelley to catch it. Immediately a devilish grin finds it’s way to her lips and suddenly this game got so much more entertaining. Patiently, Kelley waits for her turn.

A few more questions pass and Alex only has two fingers left up, as does Tobin. Apparently, Alex has been caught shoplifting (explaining that it was totally Syd’s idea), has gone to first base on a first date, and never been with a girl. On the other end, Tobin’s played on a broken body part (apparently her ankle went numb after the initial pain that she just brushed it off) and has accidentally woke up somewhere she shouldn’t have (Tobin was new to school and what principle has a couch in his office? She thought it was the counselors office. Apparently they didn’t have a counselor there). The game has successfully managed to steal their attention, save the small moments of wondering the two did about one another’s revelations. They were enjoying the night and Tobin almost considers sticking around after the game. But that’s before Kelley’s turn.

The devilish grin has yet to leave her lips and no one’s noticed it yet which makes it even better in her mind. It isn’t until right before she says it that Amy catches the look in her eyes, nudging Lauren with a panicked look.

“Never have I ever had feelings for a teammate.”

Tobin feels her stomach drop at the same time Alex feels all the blood drain out of her face. Their teammates are looking around, eager to see who does something and it’s a surprise to everyone when the first finger goes down.

Hope shrugs, “Who else would I be in the locker room with?” she says mentioning back to her first revelation of the night. Everyone’s beyond amused but Kelley knows Tobin and Alex have to do something. They have to. It’s the rules and she’ll be damned if they find their way around this too.

“No way!” Pinoe gasps, staring at Tobin when the girl puts down a finger. The girl’s eyes are trained on the carpet, picking at some fuzz when it’s Syd’s turn to gape.

“Lex?!”

Tobin’s attention immediately moves from the carpet to the forward. Alex isn’t even looking at her. She’s looking at Hope and Tobin feels the wind knocked out of her. She’s about to let her thoughts consume her but Alex shoots Hope a glare.

“You’re laughing now, but you weren’t laughing when I caught you and--”

Hope’s laugh quickly dies and turns into a scowl as she shuts Alex up. “Don’t you dare.”

There’s this cheeky grin on Alex’s lips and Tobin doesn’t know how to read the situation. Kelley, on the other hand, kept a close eye on Alex and watched as the girl’s mind raced before lowering her finger.

Honestly, Alex wasn’t planning on doing anything about the question. No one knew how she felt about Tobin, so no one would know if she lied or not. But then Tobin lowered her finger and all she could think of was the way Christen would shift from glaring at her to giving Tobin puppy dogs eyes and it made her want to barf. So she lowered her finger figuring that she was being honest even if the only reason it was lowered was to mess with Tobin’s head. It worked.

With Kelley’s turn over, Tobin and Alex breathe easier knowing that they won’t have any other questions like that again. Stealing a quick glance over at Lauren and Amy, Tobin shoots them a soft smile. As she turns around, Tobin realizes she only has one finger left and wonders what’ll make her put it down.

“Never have I ever made out or done more with a teammate.”

_You’re fucking joking._

Alex should’ve seen this coming. She should have because life hates her and she’s so done. It’s her last finger and she wants out. So it goes down.

“You so owe me an explanation later.” Syd eyes Alex, her eyes telling her how eager her friend is to know the story behind her closed fist.

Alex prays someone else will put their finger down so she doesn’t have to explain why or who this finger went down for. She’ll even take Tobin and the mental image of her and Christen that will most definitely come along with the girl admittingly lowering her finger, but Alex will take it. So long as she isn’t the only one with her finger down.

A few seconds pass and still no one and Alex realizes she’s going to need to come up with some good ass bullshit to get this passed Syd and the rest of the team. She’s glad she can at least take a swig of her drink. It burns just like the last five large swigs and it’s just what she needs to lose the tension in her shoulders.

Just as she’s almost convinced herself that her lie could be believable, Tobin saves the day.

Lowering her finger, Tobin brings her cup up to her lips. When she closes her eyes she feels a buzzing against her lips, remembering the way Alex’s pressed so perfectly against them. She chugs down the significant amount of vodka left in her cup, trying to drown out the feeling. She can hear her teammates talking and assumes it’s aimed at her. When she opens her eyes she’s greeted by curious looks.

“What?” Tobin asks, running her tongue against her bottom lip when she feels some of her drink that she didn’t manage to chug down rim her lip. The buzzing on her lips is still there and it’s starting to seep into her chest along with a familiar warmth and Tobin realizes how difficult tomorrow morning could be if she keeps on drinking.

“Drink!” Pinoe laughs, giving Tobin a shove that takes the girl a few seconds too many to recover from.

Furrowing her eyebrows, Tobin stares at Pinoe and the rest of the girls, even Alex. “Drink what? I’m done.” Gesturing to her cup.

There’s a glint in Pinoe’s eyes and Tobin desperately wishes there wasn’t.

“You and Alex are out of fingers,” Pinoe reminds Tobin and it suddenly dawns on her what’s about to happen. The short haired midfielder smiles, gesturing to the 8 shot glasses sitting on the coffee table. “drink up.”

“Wait, woah!” Alex speaks up, “Eight? Hope only did five!”

“Yeah, cause she was the fifth person to lose her hand. You and Toby over there lost your hands together and that makes eight!” Syd high fives Pinoe before the two look back at their friends. “Drink up.”

With skeptical looks, Lauren and Amy look at Kelley for any bright ideas but all they see is Kelley at a loss. The freckled girl shrugs at them and looks back at Tobin and Alex. Lauren groans, praying her teammates are still sober enough to negotiate.

Clearing her throat, Lauren speaks up from her spot behind the circle. “Tobin, Alex, if you guys don’t wanna drink why not just do five rounds of truth or dare instead? One round for each finger?” It’s the quickest thinking Lauren can come up with and she hopes it was a good enough idea to get Tobin out of doing eight consecutive shots. Alex was just collateral damage.

The look Lauren gets from Tobin is the opposite of what she was expecting. The girl’s eyebrows are furrowed and she looks slightly upset. She was only trying to help but Lauren guesses it didn’t help much.

“Okay! Okay, yeah!” Pinoe agrees, looking around the circle to see if anyone had a problem with the idea. So far all she sees are smiles and nods. “If you don’t drink you fess up!”

Syd looks at both girls with a risen eyebrow. It’s a taunt. A taunt that Alex knows too well and has fell for too many times to know her decision. “I’m drinking.”

“That’s my girl!” Syd cheers.

Now, all eyes are on Tobin and Alex is pretty curious to see which she chooses. With a heavy sigh, Tobin makes her choice.

“Five truth or dares.”

Since Alex was the first to lose her hand, the girls decide that she’ll go last.

“Okay, Tobin,” Pinoe smirks, rubbing her hands together. “truth or dare.”

There isn’t nearly enough alcohol in Tobin’s system for any of this. “Truth.”

“Was that forward from Stanford your ex?” Pinoe’s eagerness is shot down when Tobin happily smiles at her.

“Nope.”

She feels like she’s dodged a bullet when Pinoe’s face falls but Kelley is quick to pick up where Pinoe left off.

“Were you dating?”

Tobin turns to Kelley, surprised to hear her question.

“I didn’t get to pick truth or dare yet, since this is a new question.”

“You really want to pick dare?” Kelley challenges with a listless look in her eyes. Tobin sighs, running a hand through her hair.

“We dated.”

The room lights up when Tobin answers but Kelley doesn’t seem to be done.

“Truth or dare.”

Tobin glares at her. If there were rules, this would be going against all of them.  “You already asked me a question.”

“And now I’m asking another one. Truth or dare.”

“Truth.” The brunette grumbles.

She knows Kelley knows something about what happened with her and Alex and at this point she just wants this game to be over with.

Testing her boundaries, Kelley asks her next question. “Who do you have feelings for? The Stanford girl or someone else?”

Alex, who wasn’t expecting the question, looks from Kelley to Tobin. For the first time in a long time, Alex really looks at Tobin and the feeling she gets is so foreign to her. Tobin looks so out of it, like she’s tired and upset. Alex recognizes the lurch in her chest as her feeling bad for Tobin. Why? She doesn’t know but the feeling isn’t going away like she wants it to.

If Kelley wants answers fine. Tobin’ll give her answers. She’s so upset with how things have played out that all she’s paying attention to is the flaring in her chest and the look on Kelley’s face.

“Someone else.”

“Does this person know how you feel? If not, why?”

“No. She won’t even talk to me and I don’t even know why.” Tobin’s glaring at Kelley and the entire team, Alex and Kelley included, are taken back by the way Tobin’s answering. They can’t tell if this is Tobin mad or if it’s something else entirely. “But you already knew that, didn’t you Kelley?”

There’s a pang of guilt ringing through the freckled girl. She’d pushed too far and she knows it. But now so does Alex.

The young forward stares as Tobin gets up and leaves down the hall without a word. There’s a part of her that wants to get up and follow her, make sure she’s okay but she shot down any possibility of that on the beach. Alex hears a shuffling behind her and when she looks over her shoulder she sees Lauren and Amy follow after their friend and it twists her gut. It’s crazy. Alex knows Lauren and Amy are Tobin’s best friends, but she also knows she should be the one with Tobin right now. Not them.

Alex doesn’t even take her shots after that because the girls call it a night. They disperse through the house, avoiding the thick tension looming over the living room. Soon, the main area of the first floor is empty, except for Alex and Kelley.

“Lex.” Kelley gets up to move next to Alex on the floor. She stops before can even take step when Alex look at her. That’s when she knows she didn’t just cross Tobin.

“You knew something was wrong.” Alex starts. “You knew something happened between us and Christen and you couldn’t just let it go, could you?” Alex can’t even look at Kelley. _How dare she? I can fight my own battles and I don’t need her cornering Tobin for me._ All Alex can see is the look of helplessness and anger on Tobin’s face and it only drives her to keep going.

“You saw earlier, didn’t you? When I was out by the rocks?” Alex finally looks at Kelley. The girl’s eyes are trained on the carpet, her hands tugging at the hem of her shirt. “You knew things couldn’t have gone well out there since I came back alone. But you pushed her anyway.”

Alex gets up with a scoff. She doesn’t even look at Kelley when she brushes past her.

As if the look on Tobin’s face hadn’t hurt enough. Now her best friend, the reason why she pushed so far, is mad at her. Just as Alex walks past her, Kelley tries to get her to listen. Because she can deal with Tobin being mad at her, but not Alex.  

“Like I’d know she’d take it so hard!” Kelley pleads, turning around with hopes that Alex will too. And the forward does.

“Didn’t you though?” Alex asks, giving Kelley a pointed look. Kelley’s jaw tightens and that’s all the answer Alex needs.

“Whatever, Kel.” Alex scoffs. “You knew I was hurting. You knew Tobin was hurting. And instead, all you cared about was figuring it out.” Alex is shaking her head and Kelley can’t stand it. She tries reaching out to her, but Alex is gone before she can even raise her head.

“Shit.” Kelley breathes.


	5. Part Five

With everything that happened the night before, it completely slipped Tobin’s mind to close the blinds before she went to bed. Her repercussion? Being bathed in sunlight at 7 in the morning. She tries turning over and opening her eyes but all she accomplishes through that is wincing back against all the light. She groans, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she turns to shield herself from all the sunlight. Still, she says a quick prayer, thankful that she isn’t hung over.

“Tobin, stop moving so much.” Lauren groans, adjusting from her spot against the wall. _That’s right, they didn’t want to leave._

Looking at the body next to her, Tobin smiles at the way Amy is utterly knocked out. Reaching toward the window, Tobin extends off the bed and carefully closes the blinds. She gingerly makes her way off the bed, whispering to Lauren how she can lie down.

“No, Tob, you have to sleep.” Lauren says even though her eyes are still closed. The older girl’s voice is thick with sleep and it makes Tobin’s heart swell even more. She’s so thankful for her friends.

Once she’d finally managed to coax Lauren to lying down next to Amy, Tobin’s left wondering what she should do. That is, before seeing herself in the mirror. _Maybe a shower would be a good idea._

__

The hot water presses into her back and soothes the tension she thought she’d never lose. Tobin remembers everything from the night before and smirks at Lauren’s quick thinking. She doesn’t know how horrible she’d feel if she’d taken those eight shots. And just like that, Tobin’s wondering if Alex is okay. She had to do the eight shots. But she’s more experienced with alcohol. Tobin shakes her head as if the simple act could clear it.

It’s hard to explain but Tobin feels lighter. No, Tobin knows it isn’t hard to explain. She feels lighter because she’d finally said it out loud, she has feelings for Alex. And Alex heard her.

The thought alone leaves Tobin beaming.

Walking into the kitchen, Tobin didn’t expect to have company. Especially when she’s greeted by someone who was infamously known for her hatred of mornings that started before 10.

“You know it’s 8, right? Like, 8 in the morning?” Tobin asks, chuckling as she grabs a banana.

Kelley’s silent as she watches Tobin hoist herself onto the kitchen counter. It’s all too casual.

“Hey.” Kelley waits for Tobin’s response, but when she sees the girl’s eyebrows shoot up she knows she has her attention. Looking away from a split second, Kelley apologizes for the night before.

“You know,” Tobin starts, still eating her banana. “I would say how we’re not friend anymore but we were never friends to begin with were we?” Kelley gaping at Tobin, her eyes wide, flushing with embarrassment. She’s about to get up and leave the kitchen before Tobin chokes on her banana.

“You should’ve seen your face!” The girl on the counter laughs, coughing against the mush in her mouth.

“What?” Kelley asks, incredulously.

“You were all like, uhhh--” Kelley laughs as she gets up from her seat, swatting at Tobin as the girl mocks her. “Dude, it was priceless!”

“Ha ha, so funny.” Kelley’s glaring at Tobin with her arms crossed over her chest but the smile on her face lets Tobin know they’re on the same page.

Once Tobin finally settles down, she smiles at Kelley. “We’re good.” Tobin laughs at the doubtful expression on Kelley’s face and reiterates. “Seriously, it’s all good. To be honest, if you hadn’t of gotten me to say it last night I don’t think I’d ever get the chance again. So really, I should be thanking you.”

Hopping off the counter, she gives Kelley a light shove with her shoulder before moving toward the fridge. All the while the shorter girl can’t help wonder about this girl. She was weird but an interesting weird.

“You’re not gonna find anything in there.”

Tobin’s head bangs against the top shelf in the fridge, startled by the new voice. Whereas Kelley turns around to the entrance of the kitchen, watching as Lauren and Amy join them.

“The girls ransacked that thing before any of the drinking started.” Lauren says, snickering at the face Tobin makes when she pulls her head out of the fridge, rubbing the back of her head.

Amy nods at the apples and asks Tobin to pass her one. “Oh you think you’re so funny.” Amy glares at Tobin as the girl just smirks at her, holding the apple high in the air. The stunt doesn’t last long. Tobin ends up laughing at her own shenanigan and tosses the apple at Amy.

“So Tob, we never got to say sorry about the whole meet-up-at-the-rocks situation last night.” Lauren says, gingerly approaching the topic. Her face sours when she sees the way Tobin gives them a look of disgust.

“Not you guys too.” She whines. “Mornings are supposed to be, like, new beginnings. Not reminders of what happened yesterday.”

Kelley’s the first to laugh, then Amy. “You guys are harshing my zen. I’m gonna go pack.” And with that Tobin starts to make her way out of kitchen. She’s only a step or two out of the kitchen when she turns back around. Popping her head back in, Tobin clears her throat.

“But next time, if you’re going to set me and Alex up.” She exchanges knowing looks with each of their confused expressions. “Let me in on it okay? I think things might go smoother if at least one of knows what’s going on.”

Lauren’s smile takes over her whole face just as Kelley’s lights up with what Tobin can only assume are ideas.

 

The rest of the day goes by in one of those fuzzy blurs. It doesn’t take too long after Tobin starts packing for the rest of the team to slowly start waking up. For the next hour Tobin and Amy entertain themselves by guessing who just got up through the groan they make.

Once everyone had finished in the restroom and started packing, Coach Ellis decided to split the girls into two groups, packers and cleaners. The method was pretty simple since she basically plucked out the kids who weren’t scrambling and made them clean, while the ones who were scrambling continued to do just that.

Tobin was vacuuming when HAO calls her over to the backdoor. She tells Tobin how it’s stuck and won’t open from the inside. The two fumble with it for a few minutes and Tobin think’s she’s fixed it. She tells HAO to go outside and if she gives her the word, for her to push against the door, “We’re just giving the door a little boost.” she says to the veteran midfielder.

With the twist of the knob and a expectant yank, the door doesn’t budge. So preoccupied with the task at hand, Tobin gets caught off guard when she hears Syd yelling from the hallway.

“Hey, Alex grab me a water while you’re in the kitchen!”

 _Alex is in the kitche--_ Tobin’s thoughts shatter as the door meets her face.

“Oh my god, Tobin!” HAO gasps.

“HAO.” Tobin groans through the stars in her eyes. She feels HAO lead her to the coach and nods when the older girl tells her to stay put.

So focused on the throbbing pain she almost doesn’t hear what happens next.

“Are you okay?”

Almost.

The familiar rasp in Alex’s voice is all the bright side Tobin needed out of her situation, though ideally she wishes she didn’t have to get hurt for Alex to talk to her again. Blinking against the distortion of her sight, Tobin tries to see who’s speaking to her.

“Just a little knock.” Tobin laughs, but it doesn’t pull the same reaction out of Alex. “Get it? Cuz, the door hit me and you knock on a door?”

“No, I understood.”

“Oh, right.”

There’s a thickness in the air between them and Tobin wants nothing more than for it go disappear. But she knows she can’t force whatever this was between them, so she lets Alex lead.

Turning on a heel, Alex leaves Tobin lying in wait on the couch. It doesn’t take long for HAO to show up with a bag of ice, continuing her ongoing apologies.

“Dude.” Tobin says, breaking the string of apologies coming out of the older midfielder. Deciding to be patient with Alex, she puts the thoughts of the girl in the back of her mind, lifting her fist up with a smirk. “I totally fixed that door.” HAO stares at her for a few seconds before laughing at the younger girl in disbelief. She bumps fists with her and argues that she “totally loosened it”.

\--

Tuesday morning’s a refreshing practice for the whole team. Jill was gracious enough to give them Monday off after their little team bonding trip, leaving the girls time away from each other before returning to the grit and grind of soccer. Something’s shifted between their last practice to now. Sure, things were in an awkward place after the last night when everyone was at least a little drunk and Kelley decided to grill Tobin, but it wasn’t anything like that.

Alex came back feeling...different, to say the least. A day of rest yesterday wasn’t enough to process what happened over the past few days, more importantly what happened the last night of “team bonding.” Tobin Heath has feelings for her. Real feelings - not the act they’d been putting up for Christen. It was enough to make Alex’s head spin even after she’d sobered up and loaded onto the bus back to campus. The moments when Tobin’s gaze lasted too long and her touch lingered for more than what was deemed acceptable. _It all makes sense._ Alex isn’t crazy.

Yet there’s a question she has to face: what now? What are they supposed to do? Tobin made it obvious how she feels, but how well would it even go for them? They’d only really started to get to know each other for a few days, and honestly Alex still doesn’t know much about the midfielder. She knows Tobin’s phone doesn’t hold anything useful, she’s terrible when being put on the spot and her ex is a huge bitch. That’s really the extent of her knowledge on Tobin Heath, and that kind of worries her - not that Alex is a big worrier.

She mulls over her thoughts through their whole morning practice, trying to figure out her next move. As the session comes to an end and they’re all stretching out after their scrimmage, Alex’s mind still hasn’t been made up.

“Are you okay?” Kelley asks after cool down stretches, poking Alex gently. “You keeps spacing out.”

The edges of the forward’s lips turn up into a small smile when she turns to face the defender. “Yeah, I’m just thinking.”

The older girl tilts her head slightly. “About what?”

“Nevermind,” the forward quickly shakes her head, deciding it’s best if Kelley doesn’t know just how jumbled her thoughts are. She knows her friend means well - Kelley always does - but right now it’s best if things didn’t get any messier between her and Tobin. “I think I’m going to take a few extra shots for a bit,” Alex decides, standing and giving her shorter friend a small pat on the head before grabbing one of the balls.

Kelley watches her curiously, trying to understand her actions. “Okay then…”

The team begins to trickle into the locker room slowly as Alex continues to take shots on an empty goal. Her freckled friend watches her for a few minutes, admiring the way Alex puts so much determination in her shots. But they’re not as on target as they should be. After a moment, Kelley looks around to find everyone else has gone inside. It isn’t until she turns back to watch Alex that she gets an idea.

“LAUREN! AMY!” she yells as she’s sprinting around the locker room.

“Yes Kel--” Amy doesn’t even get to finish her sentence before she’s being pulled away from her locker by the small defender.

“Kelley can I at least put my shirt on?!” Lauren exclaims, her clean shirt clutched in her hand.

“Wait!” Kelley looks back at the cluster of girls at their lockers. “TOBIN!” Once they’re a safe distance away from the rest of their teammates, she releases her grip on both of them.

“Ow,” Amy mumbles, rubbing her arm. “I think it’s red.”

“You’ve had worse,” Kelley insists.

Tobin strolls over, a confused expression written on her face. “What’s up?”

“Alex is out there taking shots on the goal,” Kelley states, looking at all of them expectantly.

“So?”

“So..she’s _alone_ ,” the defender prods along, waiting for the light bulbs to go off. When they all still look at her with questioning gazes, she turns to Tobin specifically. “It’s your chance to talk to her, Tobin.”

Tobin blinks, looking at her friends with a lost expression. “What am I even supposed to say? She hasn’t talked to me.”

“Alex is stubborn,” Kelley explains, sighing. “I don’t know if she would talk to you first anyway.”

“You can’t wait forever,” Lauren points out, her shirt finally pulled over her head.

Tobin’s face is still filled with confusion and helplessness and Amy sighs, reassuringly putting a hand on the midfielder’s arm. “She knows how you feel. It’s up to her to decide what’s next. Just try to talk to her and see if she’ll open up, Tobin.”

Alex takes some of the most beautiful shots Tobin’s ever seen. Her goals are some of Tobin’s favorites if she’s being honest. She walks out of the locker room and back towards the fields with the intention of talking to her, of figuring out what the hell this is between them, but Tobin doesn’t want to interrupt the work in progress she’s witnessing with her own eyes. She stays on the sideline, watching the girl do work. The forward doesn’t notice her watching; she’s so focused on her shots that everything else is forgotten.

“You’re going to rip that poor net apart.”

The sound of her voice makes Alex forget about the ball at her feet. Instead, she turns, sweat dripping down her body to see Tobin watching her with a teasing smile on her face, halfway between Alex and the sideline. Suddenly the younger girl’s twice as hot now that she knows Tobin’s been watching her.

“Anything it takes to get better,” she reasons, unintentionally lifting up her shirt to wipe all the sweat off her face.

 _This girl is trying to kill me I swear_ , Tobin groans inwardly, unable to keep herself from staring. “Don’t be too hard on yourself.”

Alex shrugs, lifting the ball with her foot before catching it in her hand. “I’m just using this time to think and figure things out. I don’t know, shooting helps sometimes.”

Tobin’s eyebrows lift slightly and she bites her lip before asking, “And have you thought?”

“Yeah,” the forward nods slowly. She’s thought a lot, but now it’s all jumbled because there’s this midfielder with a stupid cute face looking at her with a damn tank top on. “I have.”

They’re dancing around the topic and they both know it. Alex fumbles with the ball in her hands as Tobin plays with the strap of her soccer bag. She can see Alex isn’t ready; it’s obvious by the way she hasn’t given up much in the conversation. Tobin knows if she keeps pushing, she’ll only get pushed away and that’s the last thing the midfielder wants.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Alex,” she finally says, flashing a slight smile before turning around and beginning to walk off the field.

There’s a few moments of silence before she hears, “Tobin, your shoe’s untied.”

The older girl pauses, looking down at her shoes to see her left laces are indeed untied. She turns back to face Alex, giving her the classic Tobin Heath grin. Alex’s stomach does the ridiculous flip at the sight of her smile. Somehow, they both feel like this is the first time all over again.

“Thanks for the heads up halfway down the field,” the midfielder teases.

Alex shrugs, tossing the ball up and catching it with ease. “That’s what friends are for.”

“Friends?” Tobin falters for a moment, looking at Alex curiously.

The forward’s lips stretch into a smile. “Yeah, we’re cool.”

 

\--

“We’re cool?” Kelley asks, with a sour face. “You’re sure that’s all she said, right?”

Snapping her pen down, Tobin earns a few glares as the noise echoes through the quiet library. She sighs as she looks up from her notes. “For like the fifth time Kelley, I’m sure.” she hisses with a glare.

“But that’s _so_ not Alex.” Kelley says to herself, tapping her pen against her notes.

In all honesty, Tobin didn’t know what to expect out of that conversation with Alex. All she knew was that her heart probably could have talked for her if it had pounded any harder. But they’re friends and friends is good.

“Then you should _so_ get over it.”

Kelley glares at Tobin, not fond of the way she’s being mocked. “Whatever, Heath.” She says getting up from the table. “Tell Lauren and Amy I still need their Stat notes.” And with that Tobin watched Kelley leave through the library doors, running into a few people on her way out.

Tobin spends the rest of her day planted in her seat at the library, reading over the Oedipus Complex and the multiple ways to tackle a matrix and whatever else she had to do to catch up. She can’t even remember the last time she got up to use the restroom, but thanks to Lauren at least she was able to nibble on some crackers throughout the day. And although she hates the amount of work she has ahead of her, she’s thankful for it. This way she doesn’t have time to think about anything but herself and the regret she has for letting her slacking get this far. That and so she doesn’t think of Alex, but that’s beside the point.

Still, there’s a lull in her concentration as she tries to focus on Picasso’s blue period that’s enough for her to slip into her thoughts.

Tobin’s still stuck on the whole friend’s thing. Did they even know how to be friends? They never were friends before this _thing_ and even during it the amount of flirting going on doesn’t exactly scream friends. Tobin thinks of how she met Lauren and how things just worked between them because Lauren was just like that. Was Alex like that? Could they just get along without all the extra moments? Everything coupled with her slow rising stress level was getting too overwhelming.

Needless to say, when Kelley shows up with an eager look and an offer to grab lunch with the team, Tobin glances over at the girls outside the window and apologetically declines. “Thanks for the invite Kel, but I’m still playing catch up.” Tobin says, lifting up her notes as proof of her torture. “Next time though.” she says with an apologetic smile.

She’s left with a smile and a, “Yeah whatever, Heath.” as Kelley heads for the door. Tobin smiles, not even pretending that Alex didn’t just give her a small smile (to which Tobin responds in a dutiful nod). Before letting the small interaction consume her, she shuts her eyes and regains her composure. _It’s going to be a long night._

So maybe the night isn’t as long as Tobin expected after all, especially since she knocked out a while after ten o’clock. But when she lifts her head from her notes, Tobin notices a pink post it note on the open page of her textbook.

_**Look in your backpack. - Lauren, Amy, Kelley, and Alex** _

She stares at the note for a few seconds, rereading it just to make sure. When she finally opens her backpack she finds a to-go box with a cheeseburger and another note that tells her not to get caught. The smile on Tobin’s face hasn’t been this wide in a while. She about to shoot Lauren a thank you text when she sees an unread text from 10:38pm.

_**Lauren: It was Alex’s idea. mostly.** _

It’s midnight and Tobin’s still planted in her seat in the seemingly empty library and she knows she could get in so much trouble but she takes her chances. Slipping the box out of her backpack, Tobin thinks this whole friendship thing might not be a problem after all.

\--

“God that was so awkward.” Alex groans, breathing out a heavy exhale as she walks out of the locker room with Kelley. So maybe this friendship thing was a lot harder than she expected it to be.

Sympathetically, Kelley pats Alex’s shoulder. She does her best to try and convince her that this time wasn’t that bad. “At least Tobin didn’t actually cringe when you both talked over one another.” Kelley’s best wasn’t enough.

The memory has Alex wanting to bang her head into a wall. It’s been weeks since the two started talking again and in those two weeks no progress has been made.

“What’s got you so jumbled, Lex? You click with everyone. Well to some extent.” Kelley adds that last part in as an after thought. Alex sighs, running a hand through her hair.

“That’s exactly why things are so weird now Kel. Me and Tobin click but, like, way more than we know each other. Does that make sense?”

 _No._ “Sorta.” Kelley nods slowly, waiting Alex to continue.

“It’s just--I don’t know how to talk to her!” This entire Tobin situation has her losing her patience. “It’s like we’re either being too friendly or too weird.” Many times when Alex notices how well their conversation is going, she becomes all too aware that it’s because they’re toeing the line of flirting and when she realizes that, so does Tobin. And that is how to go from too friendly to weird all in one conversation. They’re a mess.

Kelley twists her lips, trying to figure out something helpful to say. “You guys hung out before,” the freckled girl says, “What makes now so different?” Kelley eye’s her best friend as they continue to walk side by side.

Alex presses her lips together on one side. _Now I like her but don’t know where we stand, whereas then I could just say I was pretending._ “Things have just been--since that one party--” Alex’s failed attempt to explain what was going on without actually explaining it failed, so she sighs.

“Let’s just drop it.” Running a hand through her hair, Alex is thankful when Kelley doesn’t press any further.

**  
**  


Later that night Kelley slams her textbook shut, effectively jolting Alex out of her homework. “Cap said team dinner at Kristie’s.” The thought of the burger joint alone makes Alex’s stomach roar. She didn’t even realize she was hungry, let alone that hungry.

“Lex, you gonna get that?” Kelley asks, eyeing the buzzing cellphone on Alex’s desk.

“Oh, shit,” Alex mutters, fumbling with the device as she hurriedly answers. “Hello?”

“Hey are you going to Kristie’s?”

“Tobin?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah! Yeah, it’s a team dinner so,” Kelley gives Alex weird look after the striker shrugs then proceeds to make a face to herself when she realizes Tobin can’t see that she’s shrugging. The scene itself has Kelley smirking.

Tobin leaves her with an “Alright cool, I’ll see you there. Wait! No! I mean we--like me and Lauren and Amy and them--the team! We’ll see you there and I’ll stop talking now.” instead of a bye, but Alex isn’t complaining. In fact she’s so far from it that she doesn’t even realize the pink tint in her cheeks or the ways she’s smiling. She doesn’t even notice how Kelley is smiling into her sleeve.

As if the phone call wasn’t weird enough, Tobin was actually having a conversation with Alex throughout dinner. Granted it wasn’t amazing, but there were fewer awkward gaps and silences. Still, Alex finds herself smiling with some of their teammates join into the conversation (debating whether Pitch Perfect 1 or 2 was better as intelligible). By the end of the night, Tobin and Alex part ways without a goodbye. The two girls walk back with their respective friends, Alex with Syd and Kelley and Tobin with Lauren and Amy. _Baby steps._ Alex figures, trying not to dwell on it.

“What got into her?” Kelley asks Alex after Syd took a phone call.

“I have no fucking idea.” Alex laughs in slight disbelief how smoothly the night went compared to the morning’s monstrosity of a conversation they had. _But whatever it is, I hope it stays._

Meanwhile, Lauren is patting Tobin on the back with a proud smile that the three girls share. “I told you man, you just gotta let go of everything that happened and really try.”

\--

In the week and a half that passes, Tobin continues to try and reach out to Alex. She even finds herself getting sucked into lame ploys Kelley comes up with after the first team dinner Alex and Tobin didn’t suffocate one another in awkward tension. “Look who’s balls dropped!” Kelley yells, clapping Tobin on the back when she saw her on campus the day after.

Alex notices the way Tobin’s trying and finds it endlessly adorable. Really, it was subtle things like little shoulder nudges coupled with a greeting or lingering smiles when the brown eyed girl would yell out “Peace out guys” as she leaves the locker room, or the way Tobin gives her a small smile and wave when they pass one another on campus. It’s the little things.

She’s musing all about it as she makes her way across the campus for today’s practice. The sun’s shining brightly over her head and she still has a good amount of time ahead of her so the forward’s trying to enjoy it. Alex’s leisurely walk slows when someone approaches her.

“Excuse me.” In front of the forward is a guy around her age or maybe a little bit older. He has dirty blonde hair that’s quaffed to the side, and he’s dressed in sweatpants and a USC jacket. “Do you know where the visitor center is? I was here with my team, but I kind of got left behind.” He lets out a soft laugh, scratching the back of his head.

Alex offers a smile, feeling bad for the poor guy. “Yeah, it’s over there,” she points out before continuing. “Just keep going until you hit the science building, then take a left. Keep walking and you’ll see it on your right.”

The blonde’s apprehensive expression relaxed as his lips pulled up into a smile. “Thanks so much. I’m not exactly the brightest on the team,” he laughs.

The forward finds herself laughing with him, shaking her head. “Yeah, not the best to wander off while you’re somewhere new.”

“Well, I should probably get going,” he announces, checking his phone. “My coach is so going to kill me. Thanks again!”

“No problem!” Alex offers a small wave before continuing on her way as the guy walks in the opposite direction.

“ALEXANDRA PATRICIA MORGAN!”

Alex is barely pulling out the last of her gear from her bag when Sydney screeches her name as the other forward makes her entrance. Of course, their teammates give the two of them weird looks, but for the most part they ignore it because it’s _Sydney_.

“Yes?” the blue eyed girl calls back, sliding off her free runs as she plops onto the bench in front of her locker.

“Alex!” the darker girl squeals, skipping her way to her friend.

“Sydney,” Alex replies, quirking an eyebrow up.

Sydney has a slight smirk on her face and Alex already knows whatever’s about to come out of her friend’s mouth is no good, but she lets her speak anyway. “I totally saw that earlier!”

The brunette striker knits her eyebrows together in confusion. “Saw what?”

“Um _hello_!” her friend says, giving Alex a look. “You and that cute blonde guy earlier. I saw you guys laughing and talking when you were making your way over.”

Alex gives Sydney a blank look for a few seconds before it hits her. “OH! That guy? Syd, he was just asking me for directions. The poor guy got lost on his way to the visitors center with his team.” She shakes her head, wondering just how dumb you could be to accomplish that.

Sydney shrugs, crossing her arms. “Doesn’t mean it’ll be the last time you’ll be seeing him. He’s cute Al, I say go for it.”

“Whatever,” Alex scoffs, rolling her eyes. “I don’t want to see him again. I’m perfectly fine without him.”

“But let me set you up!” her friend pleads, ideas sparking in her mind.

Alex can see it all too well through Sydney’s eyes and shakes her head, a soft chuckle escaping her lips. “He was just some random guy that I happened to pass on my way here.” Once she finishes tying up her laces, she stands and gives her friend a pat on her shoulder. “Besides, I’m not interested at all.” She flashes a smile before walking away, pre-wrap in hand.

She misses the way Tobin watches her as she goes with curiosity, trying to understand the exchange the striker just had with her friend.

“Way to be obvious,” Lauren mutters under her breath.

Tobin immediately turns back around and smacks the fellow midfielder’s arm. “Shut up Cheney!”

\--

Alex really should have seen this coming. She should have. It’s Sydney for pete’s sake.

“Your friend is very…” The blonde boy, Richard (Alex had to hide her smirk because really? People still name their kids Richard?) laughs albeit awkwardly.

Sydney was one of the first girls to leave the locker room and with the conversation she had with Alex at the back of the blue eyed striker’s mind, she didn’t think twice about it. Especially when Tobin asked if she’d want to grab a smoothie later with Lauren and Amy.

“Sure.” Alex’s smile was as small as her voice but the way Tobin’s eyes lit up was enough for her.

“Sure.” The midfielder repeats with a dopey grin. Alex scoffs, giving the girl a light shove. She teases about not going if she’s going to be made fun of, which only leads to Tobin’s comeback of, “It’s not like it was my idea to invite you so,” and Alex knows with the shrug of the girl’s shoulders that it most definitely was.

“I’ll just see you at…”

“Five. Juicers.” Tobin says with a nod before walking away.

That was three hours ago and now Alex is most likely going to be late because Richie over here can’t seem to say anything without taking ten years to think about it first. It’s anything but endearing.

“Syd’s really pushy.” Alex starts, shaking her head at the fact that her best friend totally just set her up. “Sorry about that.”

Richard shakes his head in return, offering another awkward laugh. “No, no--I don’t mind. It’s just that--Oh my god!” Alex’s eyes widen as he lets out some kind of groan-laugh. Never the less, she laughs because she can see he’s struggling. She can also see how red he’s become since Syd called him over before she ran off. “I’m usually never this.. weird when I talk to girls.”

“You weren’t being that weird.” Alex says with a reassuring smile. There’s a breath of relief that escapes him and Alex actually thinks this is the first time she’s seen him look remotely relaxed.

“Well that’s reassuring. I’m just out of practice, huh? It’s not like I talk to girls with faces like yours everyday.”

Alex outright laughs at him when her eyebrows shot up at his statement.

“Wait--wait no! No, I’m not trying to--I have a girlfriend! That’s why I’m out of practice! I don’t want--” Alex is still staring at him like he’s got a second head growing out of his neck but she’s laughing. Who wouldn’t when a red idiot is sputtering all over the place.

“No, it’s fine!” Alex says, still giving him that look. “I didn--”

“Hey babe, everything okay?”

There’s a hand on Alex’s hip that’s burning a trail where she can feel it across her back. There’s also a body pressed to her side and a worried expression on Tobin’s face but she’s trying not to pay it too much attention. She’d rather not turn into Richie over there. One sputtering idiot was enough.

“Oh my go--” Richard stops himself when he sees Tobin give him a look of disgust when she hears what he’s about to say. “I’m so--you have a girlfriend! You have a girlfriend!” The boy actually looks like he’s going to throw up.

Tobin wasn’t planning on “pulling an Alex” but she was on her way to Juicers when she saw the two and how uncomfortable Alex looked. How could she not swoop in and try to get Alex away from the kid she said she didn’t want to see earlier before practice. It just took her a good five minutes of mental debate and a rapidly beating heart to do it, but here she is.

“Dude, you okay?” Tobin asks, right as Alex says, “So do you.”

That certainly catches Tobin’s attention. “What?”

There’s a giant smirk on Alex’s lips when she glances over to Tobin. “Richard has a girlfriend.” Not even a second passes before Tobin retracts her hand from Alex’s hip. Not too long after that happens the blonde panics out something about going back to his team.

Tobin wishes he’d stay.

“So,” The smirk is still on Alex’s lips as she slowly turns to face Tobin. Her eyebrow is perfectly arched to match the expression she’s wearing and Tobin wishes the earth would just swallow her whole that that second. “What was that, _babe_?”

“I just--I just thought he was bothering you.” _Play it off Heath. Play it off._ “I overheard how you say you didn’t want to see him earlier in the locker room.”

“So you were eavesdropping on me?”

_Oh god._

Richard may have left but it looks like there’s still a sputtering idiot present. “No! No I just--I thought--”

“I had it under control.” Alex says, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Obviously.” Tobin breathes out. She just really wants a smoothie now. “I was just trying to do a friendly thing.” So she can drown herself with it.

Alex stares at the older girl, her eyes running up and down her face. “Right.” She drawls out. “A friendly thing.”

“Lauren and Amy are probably already at Juicers.” Tobin throws out. “We should head over.” She gestures with a nod over her shoulder.

“Right.” Alex’s nod is curt and so is the way Tobin turns on her heel.

It doesn’t take long for the silence to break Alex’s train of thought. “Tobin what hell was that?” Because there was no way Tobin meant that as a friendly favor. Alex isn’t stupid. She still knows Tobin has, or had, feelings for her.

“What?” The midfielder asks over her shoulder. She really needs that smoothie now. Or the earth to crack open right beneath her. Either or. She’s not going to be picky.

“Tobin,” Alex is at her wits end with whatever this was between her and Tobin. She has more things that she needs to think about than what her next conversation with Tobin will be like and how red she’ll probably be from it, like Stat homework or something. She reaches out and grabs Tobin’s elbow, pulling her back so they can talk. “Seriously!”

“I thought my friend needed help so I went in and did what I thought could help!”

“Oh so you thought pretending to be my girlfriend was going to help?” Alex’s voice is incredulous.

“I don’t--I thought you didn’t want him around so I figured it would make him go away!” Tobin continues before Alex can jut in. “And what’s the big deal anyway? You did the same thing for me!” Tobin doesn’t know what Alex’s issue with this was. She just wanted to help, she didn’t know she didn’t need it.

“Okay but that was different!” Alex can’t believe Tobin was actually bringing it up.

“How?! You swept in and pretended to be my girlfriend when you thought I needed help! How is that any different, Alex?” Really, Tobin needed to be done with this conversation.

“Because I wasn’t in love this Richard!”

“And I wasn’t in love with Christen!”

“Yeah,” Alex scoffs. “Sure you weren’t.”

“Okay what does that even mean?”

Alex opens her mouth but thinks better of it. Clenching her jaw, she checks the time and curses. Of course they’d be late. “Look,” Alex resigns. “we’re already late. Lets just go.” Tobin’s reaction is similar to the strikers, mouth open only to shut and clench. The only difference is that Alex is sure there wasn’t a flash of something across her eyes when she looked at the other girl. It makes Tobin turning away from her hurt more than it should.

“Don’t be like that.” Alex sighs, her hand almost reaching out to Tobin. Almost. Instead she lets it run through her hair.

Tobin’s hears Alex’s small comment over her shoulder and it leaves her speechless for a few seconds. With everything they’ve been through she doesn’t even know how to respond. Still, she humors the younger girl and turns back around.

“Like what? Try and be your friend?” She’s just so tired, of this and them and everything that entails.

And maybe it’s the weight in Tobin’s words or the look of hurt that passed through her eyes a few seconds ago, or maybe it’s just because this is Tobin and she’s tired of playing games, that she asks, “Is that really what a friend would do?” Alex can’t remember the last time she’s felt so small.

Tobin hesitates and it’s more of answer than what she really gives. “Yes.”

“You’re such a shit liar.” and before she can lose all her courage, Alex grabs the collar of Tobin’s shirt and yanks on it just as Tobin starts talking.

“Alex what do you wan--!” The words in Tobin’s mouth scatter against Alex’s lips before they melt away altogether, Tobin included.

There’s a bead of sweat running down Tobin’s forehead but she can barely notice it. What she can notice is the firm grip Alex has on her collar and the way they both exhale into one another.  

It’s hot. Blazing hot. But California afternoons were never anything but. So with one last quiet smack, Alex pulls away. She can feel her stomach flip when Tobin, eyes still closed, tilts her head up expecting another kiss. _God_ Alex thinks she’s going to suffocate when she sees the look of confusion on Tobin’s face when she doesn’t get the kiss she was looking for. _She’s such a fucking idiot._

“What was that?” Tobin asks, her voice thick and her eyes still dazed and _god_ she just wants to keep kissing Alex.

“Me,” Alex’s eyes move from Tobin’s eyes to her lips and back. “doing what I want.” Tobin, whose lips are still barely parted, grins at the striker.

“I don’t get it.” The words barely make a sound as they pass through the smile on Tobin’s lips. She looks up at Alex with a knitted eyebrows and that same dazed look in her eyes.

Alex tightens her grip on Tobin’s shirt with one hand, the other wrapping around the girl. Her knees are getting so wobbly she needs Tobin to stop looking at her like that because she might actually fall over. “Do you need to?”

Another glance at Alex’s lips and Tobin hesitates. “No..?” _God, that’s not fair._

Alex lets her head fall onto Tobin’s shoulder, mumbling into the shorter girl’s neck. “What’re we doing?” Her laugh is soft but her shoulders bounce and her breath washes over Tobin’s neck that the older girl hears her loud and clear.

It’s hesitant, Tobin knows, but she doesn’t know what she can or can’t do and what will or won’t make Alex run off and she doesn’t want to ruin this again. So when her hands reach out and hold Alex’s hips, she tries to ignore the fact that she’s shaking--trembling really.

“I’m holding the girl I like. What’re you doing?” Tobin says it with as much confidence as she can muster because Alex just kissed her and that has to mean _something_ , right?

“Trying to get over how cheesy that was.” Alex says, ignoring the birds in her stomach. She pulls away from her spot on Tobin’s shoulder, only to see a doubtful look in Tobin’s eyes.

“You said friends.” And Tobin’s words hit her like a ton of bricks. Of course Tobin would be a few steps behind.

“And now I’m saying I want to be with you.”

Tobin swallows. Hard. Her trembling hands holding Alex a little closer. “Why?”

Alex’s eyes move back to Tobin’s lips, her heart tripping when she felt the small tug of Tobin’s hands. “Why not?” Running her tongue against her bottom lip, Alex wonders what’s going through Tobin’s mind. And why they aren’t kissing, but that can wait.

“Because you said you needed space.”

“I only said it because I needed to be sure.”

“Of what?”

“Of you.”

Their voices are barely above a whisper but they can’t ring any louder.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Tobin says with a small shake of her head.

Alex opens her mouth to say something but instead she bites down the smile that threatens to spread across her face. It doesn’t work.

“So, “ There’s a smirk on Tobin’s face in place of the smile that was there only moments ago. “You wanna be with me, huh?” There’s a glint in her eyes and Alex outright laughs. She moves her arms to Tobin’s neck and rolls her eyes.

“Oh shut up!” Tobin can feel Alex laughing against her chest and she swells with something she hasn’t felt in a long time. Her cheeks are a deep crimson and she’s sure of it.

“I mean, I’d wanna be with me too.” Tobin starts, her eyes glancing between Alex’s ocean blue eyes and her red lips. Slowly, she leans in, her eyes still on the girl’s lips but right before she can kiss the girl, she looks up. “But I guess being with you would be cool too.” And really that was all Alex needs to hear for the hand on the back of Tobin’s neck to pull her girl forward.

The memory of that hot run to Relaxation and the way Tobin’s head fell back when she made a stupid joke, the moment Tobin first got Alex to laugh at one of her jokes and the time she stole her phone, everything was a build up to this. To their lips moving against one another and their hearts hammering against their chests.

“Are you sure?” Tobin asks against Alex’s lips.

Alex’s eyebrows knit together. “Of what?” She’s not sure how Tobin is thinking of anything right now because she’s still caught up on the feeling of the older girl’s lips on hers.

“Of me.”

And just like that, Alex knows she’ll never get enough of Tobin. “I think I’ve got it under control.”

**  
**  


A few streets away Lauren and Amy walk out of Juicers and into the heat of the afternoon.

“Next time, we’re not inviting Tobin.” Lauren states, putting her sunglasses on.

Amy laughs, shaking her head when she realizes, “Wasn’t Alex supposed to be here too?”

“Maybe the two finally talked.”

There’s a few moments of silence that passes between them before they both scoff.

“Yeah right.” Amy laughs.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who's been reading along this whole time. It started out as an idea and turned into a monster onset. Thanks for all your feedback, y'all are the realest.


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